TMIT 49: Why We Started Teasing Our Kids

If your family over-indexes on earnest, disciplined learning, playful banter can actually feel incredibly uncomfortable. But what if raising emotionally resilient kids requires teaching them how to take—and make—a joke?

We realized our family had a massive blind spot when it came to levity. Our kids were starting to view every social nudge as a threat, and we knew we needed to intentionally build more playfulness into our home. In Episode 49, we explore the psychology behind banter and exactly why we are actively teaching our kids how to tease.

We break down the critical difference between teasing (saying something true playfully) and sarcasm (saying something untrue to imply the opposite). Sarcasm developmentally fails with young kids, leaving them feeling evaluated and insecure. Healthy teasing, on the other hand, actively strengthens bonds, signals safety, and builds emotional resilience.

We share Greg’s "Level One" framework for teaching kids self-deprecation (the "I'm sure you're shocked" method) and break down our three new family guardrails for bantering safely:

• We only tease about competencies and strengths.

• The person being teased gets to decide whether or not it is funny.

• If a joke misses the mark, we immediately celebrate the repair.

Listen to TMIT 49 wherever you get your podcasts.

The healthiest families know how to lean into their strengths, learn from their mistakes, and playfully laugh at themselves along the way.