TMIT 41: The "PayPal Mafia" Strategy, Disagreeing with Your Spouse & The "Belly Button" Rule (Listener Q&A)

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Welcome back to The Most
Important Thing.

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I'm Danielle.
And I'm Greg, and together we're

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exploring how we build family
culture at home and lead like

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badasses.
Indeed we are.

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And we are doing something a
little bit different this week,

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which I feel like I say a lot,
but we're doing something a

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little bit different this week.
And that over the past few

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weeks, we have asked our
listeners for questions and

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we've gotten quite a few
responses and I'm excited to go

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through a few of them today.
Yeah.

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I think of this as the questions
that we've been asked over the

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arc of Team IT over the last
nine months.

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And then we did a call to action
and asked our listeners to

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provide some, some of which were
new, but a lot of which we've

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heard over the last nine months
and we wanted to surface those.

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Yeah, a lot of this I think we
could call AFAQ, right?

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A frequently asked question for
sure list.

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So let's get into it.
Great.

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OK, so the first one, which came
from a friend recently is why go

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through all the effort to build
a custom family culture from

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scratch?
Why not just lean into religion

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instead of reinventing the
wheel?

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It's a great question.
The first thought that I had

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was, yeah, I'm building a
startup or I'm building my own

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investment firm.
Why not just go work at Google

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or why not just go work at sit
it?

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All right.
And there's a laundry list of

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reasons not to do those things.
But I think there's only one

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real reason to do those things,
and it's because you have to.

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Because you, something inside of
you says this is what I'm meant

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to do.
Yeah.

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Or because the existing thing
doesn't necessarily resonate

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with you.
Like, you know, this question

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was really asked in the context
of religion.

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And I would say that religion is
an incredible way to create

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culture through shared beliefs,
shared language, rituals,

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connections and sense of
belonging across generations,

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right.
But what do you do if the

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religion in which you grew up or
the ones that you've kind of

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been exposed to over time, none
of them really speak to your

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soul, right?
And so on the one hand, I kind

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of wish that we were a religious
family, but we're not.

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And so this is really our
opportunity to take a lot of

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what religion has to offer and
create our own in a first

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principles way.
For sure, we have a wonderful

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way of being intentional and
making things harder for

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ourselves.
And I think that this is just

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yet another example of that,
yeah.

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Yeah, there's very few cultures
or religions that start with the

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message that you don't need us.
You've got this.

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And I'm wondering if I would
love to know where that shows up

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in history and and in in in
other cultures.

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And I'm sure that the reason why
is because it's really hard to

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control other people when they
have a sense of belonging and

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their own sense of entitlement
to whatever they want to go

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after versus that they need
something or there's something

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missing from them and that can
only be fulfilled by X.

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Yeah, I mean, I just don't think
that the message that you've

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already got this lean into
what's working is super scalable

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in in traditional community
building ways.

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You know, one of the other
questions that we got in a

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similar vein was just was from a
friend who has a family much

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like ours, like a very strong
family culture.

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And she said, you know, can you
talk about the idea of building

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a tribe of friends and community
when extended family isn't a

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viable option like adults?
Making new adult friends is

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really important both for
support but also for modeling

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for our kids what healthy
relationships can look like

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outside of just the parent child
dynamic.

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Yeah.
And I would say this is one that

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we have not figured out yet,
right, But it is one that we

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really want to pursue in the new
year as shared a broader shared

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sense of community.
Yeah, community piece is really

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important.
It's also really hard for

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certain parts of our timeline,
if you will.

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So if I'm thinking about this in
business context, like being

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heads down and not focused on
the competition and and just

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building your own little tribe
is so important while you're

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recruiting other people in that
start up phase, you're really

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focused on the family like this
unit and how we survive.

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Sharing boundaries Part 2.
We talked a bit about the start

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up analogy of pushing the
boulder uphill and then there's

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only one way to push.
But when it starts rolling down

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the hill, there's so many ways
to let it roll and we need a

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different team to help control
that.

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And I think that getting over
that horizon, getting over the

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hump is really what what has
allowed us to like that focus

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means that we weren't so focused
on community.

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It, it just means that we that
community wasn't that important

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to us.
And now we're going to explore

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what that looks like.
Yes.

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And that is our hope for 2026 is
to really start to explore what

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that looks like.
And Greg, I would also say like

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where we're going to relax our
parameters on things because

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being in community often means,
you know, being willing to

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compromise or maybe not having
everything so Neufeld specific,

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right, which is going to be hard
for us.

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It's really hard.
I mean, we're, we're building a

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great little pod here, but we
want our pod to go out and build

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their own pods, not just to stay
as our nuclear family for the

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rest of their lives.
Yeah, we were talking last night

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about the Jerry Jones scene in
Land Man, where he talked about

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the how great it was to build a
business with his kids.

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And your response I think was
amazing, which is basically

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like, we've got so much to
offer.

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We don't want to just be on one
track.

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We need to go and diversify,
right?

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We want to be the PayPal mafia.
We don't want to be.

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That's right.
That's a great that is a really

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great analogy to PayPal Mafia of
my dreams.

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Yes, and, and and sometimes it's
too comfortable, right.

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So you know, back to the
business world.

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I was, I was.
I've been speaking with a couple

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of folks from 2 Sigma recently
and I have to say I've never met

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someone from 2 Sigma that I
didn't like.

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The culture there is incredible,
but as a few of them told me,

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I'm here for life.
You'll have to carry me out in a

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in our our team colored casket.
Interesting.

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And and that's because they make
it so comfortable, You know,

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they make it easy to show up day
after day.

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They make it easy to work.
They make it easy to have a

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family.
They make it easy to have all

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the amenities that you need.
They make it easy to, you know,

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you have all the systems and the
latest technology and the

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fastest everything, right?
Like I understand that and we

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have to make things a little bit
uncomfortable on ourselves so

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that we can make sure to show up
more like the PayPal mafia than

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like 2 Sigma.
That's a really great analogy.

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I'm going to sit with that one
for a bit.

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Cool.
So extending this metaphor then

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of a of a family culture that is
much like an organization or a

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startup, we got a question where
the the guy said, I love the

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startup model of family, but one
challenge I see is that your

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children are not employees and
they aren't your equals.

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How do you manage discipline and
ultimately accountability while

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trying to democratize family
decisions?

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That's a hell of a question.
One, I think the startup model

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of family is an interesting
phrase that we're we're trying

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not to lean into too hard.
Yes, people often say that like,

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oh, you guys are like family as
a startup.

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And I'm like, oh, that's not
quite right.

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We're more like, I would say
family as a team is the better

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dynamic, but this is the most
important team that we will ever

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build, right?
And we're the Co leaders of that

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team.
So if we think about it in that

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analogy and not just family as a
startup, like how do we manage

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discipline and ultimate
accountability while

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democratizing family decisions
in this team dynamic?

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I mean, just as you would in any
high performing team, right?

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I don't think it's any
different.

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No, I agree.
I mean the thought I had when I

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read this question was about
being really intentional about

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who you invite to the meeting.
As we mentioned in Episode 28,

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shared systems, we have our
adult weekly stand up on

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Thursdays, just the two of us.
That is separate and apart from

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our family meeting, right?
Because it wouldn't be

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developmentally appropriate and
it would honestly, I think be

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kind of nerve racking and
anxiety inducing for our

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children to talk about all the
logistics for the forward 10

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days that we do in that stand
up, right.

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We keep our family meeting about
connection and fun.

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A little bit of learning, a
little bit of problem solving,

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but mostly gratitude and a
shared sense of belonging.

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Correct.
Yeah, it's it's more of a town

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hall than it is a stand up
meeting.

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Yes.
And I think that as we see the

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kids for what they're capable
of, we'll start inviting them

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into more of those.
But that will be in a separate

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container.
Yeah, and I think we're actually

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entering that phase.
So aren't.

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We are parting ways with our
nanny at the end of the year,

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not because we don't love her,
but because we have three kids

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in full time school.
Let me be clear, we do love her.

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A big part of me would love to
have her forever, but it just

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doesn't make sense from a
logistics, financial, lifestyle

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perspective for us to continue
having someone here 50 hours a

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week.
It's been a great eight years of

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full time nannies and we're now
ready to cross the chasm.

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Yes, which is really scary.
But one of the things we've been

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talking about with the kids is
really a system of

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accountability, right?
So increased responsibility and

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increased incentives in the, in
the sense that if they're going

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to be asked to be more
responsible around here, I'm

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happy to be giving them some of
the savings that we have from

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not having a nanny as well.
But with that, the

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accountability metrics are also
really important.

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So we've been talking about some
type of weekly check in with

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each child around how they
conducted themselves this week,

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right?
And so you know, more to be

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revealed here.
But I do think that thinking

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about as you would in any
organization, like you said,

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what is developmentally
appropriate, You know, what

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meetings should it just be the
CEO and CIO in right versus

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what's an all hands town hall
and being really intentional

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about the topics that you
discuss at each.

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Yeah, I think that the word
democratize you've also

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mentioned is not meant to be a
completely flat organization.

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Right.
No.

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And having a democracy still
means that there are people that

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are the elected officials or the
anointed officials in this case,

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Yeah, that are the team leaders.
And we need to make sure that

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everything that we do is in
service of the team, like make

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sure our people are super happy,
but also make sure that we're

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happy in the direction that
we're going and steer that the

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ship in that.
Right.

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I mean, you get a vote.
I want your voice to be heard.

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But ultimately we will make a
decision.

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We, Greg and I, will make the
decision.

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Right.
So even in a startup, I mean if

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this was family as a startup
like we're the Co founders.

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Yeah.
Absolutely.

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We hired some great engineers
and maybe a designer here and

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there.
Yeah, it's looking good.

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So cool.
We got a couple of questions as

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we often do in life as well
about US versus the outside

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world and kind of building upon
that friction that we mentioned

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in creating our own religion,
creating our own family culture,

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right?
And so one of them was when our

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kids say but my friend gets to
do XYZ.

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How do we explain our family's
values without implying that

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their friend's family is doing
something wrong?

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Yeah, this is a hard one for me
growing up and I don't think

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that I ever was really delivered
a sufficient answer.

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It was just more like because
that's what we think and that's

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what you need.
There is a missing phrase there

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and I think we've got that
phrase.

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And because that's what we do as
the Neufeld family, that's what

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we.
That's what this means as a

229
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,680
team.
This team believes in X.

230
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,360
Not like you are the problem.
It's the we and what our team

231
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,760
and you are part of something
much bigger than just yourself.

232
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,520
And this is what we've decided
as a family works.

233
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,320
Right, Yeah, I I have a bunch of
thoughts on this.

234
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,560
The first is that we live in a
community of specificity.

235
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,520
They all go to outdoor nature
schools.

236
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,520
And so a lot of the folks that
that send their kids there

237
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,960
already are very intentional and
kind of alternative thinkers,

238
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,280
right?
But even just this past week,

239
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,000
like we were spending time with
a little girl who's allowed to

240
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,840
wear lipstick but not allowed to
wear eyeshadow.

241
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,840
Whereas Hunter is allowed to
wear lipstick and eyeshadow, but

242
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,120
I don't really like her wearing
blush, right?

243
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,000
And we're all like, we say no to
cake, but they say no to palm

244
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,880
oil because of deforestation.
And that's like a really big

245
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,480
deal in their family, right?
So everybody has their quirks

246
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,880
and a lot of it is based on the
parents life experience.

247
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,920
Sure.
And so I've just been trying to

248
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,880
be honest about that with our
kids more recently.

249
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,160
It's like, why don't we?
Why don't we do something?

250
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,040
Well, because I had a negative
experience about that as a child

251
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,120
and I'm trying to do differently
this time.

252
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,360
And so I think it kind of just
puts us all on the same team as

253
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,360
like mommy and daddy are
exploring in the same way that

254
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,360
you are.
The other thing that I think

255
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,520
about is that these kids were
born on third base, right?

256
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:47,040
We have such a comfortable,
stable life, thank goodness, and

257
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,840
creativity thrives and
constraints.

258
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:54,560
And so I do believe that it
makes sense for us to put

259
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:58,440
constraints on the system, ones
that are aligned with our family

260
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:03,040
culture, so that they can be
creative and imaginative and

261
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,040
enjoy life within those
parameters.

262
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,880
I don't know the research, but
Brené Brown told a story one

263
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:13,840
time about kids at college.
So she asked everyone who who

264
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:19,960
here had strict parents and a
bunch of kids raised their hands

265
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,640
and they couldn't wait to tell
how their parents were strict.

266
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:28,080
Oh, this one wouldn't let me out
past X, you know, past 11 O

267
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,200
clock at night.
This one wouldn't let me eat

268
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,640
junk food, etcetera.
And it was almost like this

269
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:38,320
friendly competition in the
sense that they loved talking

270
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,680
about the ways that their
parents made life difficult for

271
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:46,400
them, where what she noticed was
that the children who had more

272
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:51,920
relaxed parents weren't
necessarily able to contribute

273
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,720
in that way and almost felt
badly about themselves.

274
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,120
Yeah, that's an interesting
thing.

275
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,280
Like, you know, the, the
struggle leads to strength, you

276
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,000
know, being defined by the
constraints that you're up

277
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,080
against and realizing that you
made it to the other side and

278
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,680
that either your parents, you
know, we're we're doing the

279
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,200
right thing because of that, or
like they were just being hard

280
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,080
on you.
And you know, that was how tough

281
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,520
you had it back to the like
walking up the hill, 10 miles to

282
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,040
school both ways.
Yeah, exactly.

283
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,040
OK, So the next one, do you want
to read the next one?

284
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,840
Sure.
On this note, someone asked us

285
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,600
what happens when your kids go
to other friends houses?

286
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,880
Do your family rules follow them
or do they follow the host

287
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,400
family's rules?
That's a good question.

288
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,240
I think that culture and being
immersed in someone's culture

289
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,360
and being part of their home for
a day or an hour or whatever,

290
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,240
like comes with some privileges
and some new things to try.

291
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:52,040
And then it's really up to our
kids, as I see it, for them to

292
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,200
uphold the what it means to be a
new Feld when they leave the

293
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,720
house.
And we can have a discussion

294
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,040
about what that means when they
come home, if they if they

295
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:03,080
colored outside the lines.
But like back to what Noah's alt

296
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,440
said on an old team teammates
episode.

297
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,000
There's the in here conversation
and there's the out there, and

298
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,320
the out there is sometimes you
get to try some other things.

299
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,120
Yeah.
I mean, on the one hand, I think

300
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,480
of, you know, Ben Horowitz from
Andreessen Horowitz saying that

301
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,960
culture is how your company
makes decisions when you're not

302
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,320
there, right?
On the other hand, I think my

303
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,920
kids are 86 and four.
I want them to be able to

304
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,160
experiment.
For me, the most important thing

305
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,080
is communication.
Yeah.

306
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,920
And for them to be able to, I
mean, explore is the E in

307
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,960
Newfeld is for explore, right?
So if they find themselves in a

308
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,240
situation where they're at
someone else's house, I hope

309
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,480
that they try the new vegetable
and I hope that they have some

310
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,000
dessert.
Does that make sense?

311
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:50,320
Like, I want them to be able to
make choices that feel right to

312
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,320
them.
If that means exploration,

313
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,560
great.
If that means Neufeld's don't

314
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,400
eat cake and they feel like that
is the right thing in that

315
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,960
moment, then then stand up for
that, that aspect of our culture

316
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,079
as well.
But for me, open communication

317
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,599
is number 1.
And so I want, and I do think

318
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:14,200
that we've gotten into a really
good habit with Hunter around

319
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,400
whether she does something and
it doesn't feel good after she

320
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,960
colors outside the lines in some
way or an adult says something a

321
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:27,319
little off to her, whether she's
at school or at jiu jitsu or at

322
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:31,480
someone else's house.
She comes to us and we talk

323
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:38,920
about it and we really try in
those moments to take it and put

324
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,800
it in between us.
I guess what would be the term

325
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,240
like?
So to I, I really try to compose

326
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,240
myself and keep my composure in
those opportunities to recognize

327
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,520
that no matter what comes out of
this child's mouth, my job is to

328
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,440
support the the fact that she
told me rather than get upset

329
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,480
with the fact that she did
something she wasn't supposed

330
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,320
to.
Yep.

331
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,320
Well, we can break this down
into I think communication,

332
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,400
which you brought up is probably
the most important thing is that

333
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,920
they come back and are not
deceitful about anything that

334
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,480
happened that they felt, you
know, good, bad or yeah,

335
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,720
indifferent about.
So that's that's one.

336
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,640
The second piece is, you know,
it's we bring up a lot of food

337
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:28,720
examples here, but I really
think about what it means to be

338
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,320
a new Feld and to uphold like,
like, do you feel good about

339
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,360
yourself there?
And do you actually feel

340
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,520
confident to make the decision
that, you know, is right for

341
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,760
you?
Because there's there can be

342
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,360
pressure and peer pressure is
only going to build with age.

343
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,400
And it's no longer just going to
be about what I did at someone

344
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,120
else's house.
It's going to be what I did at,

345
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,280
you know, at the at the mall
with so and so.

346
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:55,720
Yeah, right.
And so pressure and, and looking

347
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,400
pressure in the face and saying
no, this is what I believe.

348
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:04,120
And being strong willed to say
no or say yes, whatever that is,

349
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:06,920
Yeah, I think is really, really
important is that pressure.

350
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,080
And then three, I think is
learning from it, learning from

351
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:10,920
those experiences.
Yeah.

352
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,720
So the feedback loop being like,
this is what I did right, This

353
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,280
is what I did wrong, this is how
I'm gonna play it next time.

354
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,000
This made me feel good.
This made me feel bad, etc.

355
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,400
And that's really what this
building culture means.

356
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,640
We don't want to get into the
parenting advice trap of this is

357
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,240
what you do when you send your
kid to a friend's house, right?

358
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,720
We're trying to say this is what
you do in order so that your

359
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,040
kids know what to do when they
go to a friend's house, right?

360
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,800
So I guess what I'll, what I'll
just say overall is that when it

361
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,560
comes to what happens to our
kids going to friends houses is

362
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,760
whether they do the same thing
they would do in our house or

363
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,440
they do something different.
Either way, it's no big deal.

364
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,000
Yeah, right.
Number one is communication.

365
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,400
It's, it's feedback for all of
us.

366
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:56,040
Because if they eat 5 brownies
and then feel sick, that's

367
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,040
definitely going to give them
digestive feedback.

368
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,040
But it's also going to say like
it's going to show us something

369
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,240
that like, oh, they really
wanted to do that.

370
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,440
And like, I'm glad that they
did, honestly.

371
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,600
So either way, no big deal.
Sure.

372
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:14,520
OK, so, so then we got a couple
of questions around tension,

373
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,400
right?
So the first one is.

374
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,920
How do you handle it when you
and your partner fundamentally

375
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,720
disagree on how to parent a
specific situation?

376
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,120
For example, the decision to
give Hunter an iPhone, How do

377
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,040
you navigate giving each other
leash on certain issues?

378
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,120
It's a.
Good question.

379
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,880
Yeah, Rock, paper, scissors,
right?

380
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,640
What else?
Yeah, I guess I did call it

381
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,480
leash.
I didn't mean to.

382
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,440
I didn't mean to make you sound
like you were my dog or

383
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,560
anything.
But I do think about that, like

384
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,400
if you have believability in in
a realm, Yep.

385
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,520
And like like as you do in
technology, like I was not going

386
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,800
to go research the best kid
camera for for hunter because,

387
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,280
well, that's not my Forte.
And it happens to be your

388
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,720
passion and Forte, right?
That I have to recognize where

389
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,360
we can, I guess we called our
shared systems episode divide,

390
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,200
conquer and connect, right?
And so this is just one of those

391
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,520
where we have to divide and
conquer.

392
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,480
It doesn't mean that we can't
have some level of

393
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,720
accountability or I don't have
the ability to give you feedback

394
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,320
on how it's going with the
device, which by the way, for

395
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:24,760
everybody that's keeping up with
our giving Hunter an iPhone,

396
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,240
we're a week and 1/2 in or a
week and 1/2 in.

397
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,400
Yeah.
And I don't think she's picked

398
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,160
it up exactly in the past three
days.

399
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,560
And that was my hope.
Cuz you she's kind.

400
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,760
Of old right already.
She wanted a camera.

401
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,040
She can whip it out when she
needs to record something.

402
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:43,120
But she had a big dopamine build
about, I need to get a camera.

403
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,200
Oh, I'm getting an iPhone.
Oh, and then crash.

404
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,760
Yeah, like, I'm good.
I'm good.

405
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,440
Interesting.
Yeah, so.

406
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,240
But I'm sure that will ebb and
flow.

407
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,360
I.
I have a funky answer here

408
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,520
around what we'll call the
disagreement protocol.

409
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:06,400
OK, So when it comes to areas of
competence and believability, a

410
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:11,760
Ray Dalio ISM, right?
I look to you and you look to me

411
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,880
where we have believability, as
you just said, technology and

412
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,080
things that you've researched
like And when we have

413
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:23,080
believability, even if it's not
in line with my instinct, I

414
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:27,000
don't ever want to shut you down
for coming to me with a new

415
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,840
idea.
And what I've learned is that

416
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,880
when you come to me with a new
idea, as crazy it may as it may

417
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,080
sound, there's likely some
reason why you feel compelled to

418
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,760
have researched that.
And that goes back to, like,

419
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:44,160
your confidence in your
intelligence and your ability to

420
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,400
navigate situations where you're
not really all that often caught

421
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:54,600
by somebody's charade.
And so I'm just like, hey, you

422
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,200
know, 9 times out of 10,
Danielle has come to me with

423
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:04,360
meaningful, like unorthodox
ideas and we've implemented them

424
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,920
and started to go down the
rabbit hole.

425
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,840
And when we implement them,
we're even if we don't because

426
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,120
we decide it's not the right
thing, we're doing it together.

427
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,200
Yeah.
So.

428
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,600
Like what would be a good
example?

429
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,840
I guess education and schooling.
I mean, education and schooling

430
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,400
is a great one where you started
talking about different models

431
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,600
of schools.
I was like no toys with

432
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,800
batteries.
Super early in the game, no toys

433
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,680
with batteries, you know.
No meal bills.

434
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:34,240
About all those things, I mean,
more recently, just like even

435
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,200
ideas that get planted in your
head through the community, like

436
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,400
a new breathwork protocol to try
out, like I'm always game.

437
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,480
Yes, you are.
The downside is so minimal and

438
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:50,560
it's usually like in our
self-interest to do these

439
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,520
explorations.
So I'm going to put a point

440
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,800
there, a fine point on the
disagreement protocol is

441
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,480
starting with believability and
trusting your partner, right?

442
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:07,280
The fine point there is if your
partner is shutting you down,

443
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:14,320
that is the time to examine
something else, right?

444
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:19,760
I've, I've noticed a lot of
relationships in, in my past in

445
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:24,240
my family where I feel like one
partner shuts the other down a

446
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,080
lot and that makes the other
partner not want to come to them

447
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,360
with these ideas or these
concepts.

448
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:32,000
And that's where resentment
really builds up.

449
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,160
Sure.
I mean, that's another really

450
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,960
analogous thing to company
culture, right, Is when you want

451
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:43,120
to foster a culture of growth
where people are willing to

452
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:48,120
share ideas candidly, willing to
admit mistakes and failures and

453
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:53,080
feel comfortable and
psychologically safe surfacing

454
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,920
and disagreeing.
Right.

455
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,720
Yeah.
So I just want that to be named

456
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,080
that we need to feel like we're
in a true partnership.

457
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:07,280
We are the Co founders, we are
the Co leaders of the most

458
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,480
important team that we will ever
build.

459
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,040
Yeah.
And in doing that, we need to be

460
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,480
able to come to one another with
these ideas and be treated as

461
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,840
like Co CEOs almost.
Yeah, it's a hard thing.

462
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,120
It's actually disagree and
commit it is right?

463
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,160
Yes.
It's really one of your favorite

464
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,000
phrases.
Our favorite phrases that we

465
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:30,560
have a whole episode on episode
#37 right?

466
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,800
Is that we value one another so
much that if you're really

467
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,920
focused on getting Hunter an
iPhone or giving Hunter my old

468
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,560
iPhone because you believe that
you've done the research and

469
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,880
like that is the that is the
right choice.

470
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,760
I don't even need to hear the,
you know, 7 minute presentation

471
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,920
as to why I believe that you
have done the work, right.

472
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:56,040
And I value our relationship
more than I value any, you know,

473
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,720
two way door aspect of taking
the iPhone away from Hunter, if

474
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,960
that makes sense.
Because I know that we can, it's

475
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,320
a two way door, as you like to
say.

476
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,680
Like I know that we can change
our decision.

477
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,640
Something that you taught me
really early on in our marriage

478
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:09,840
was that we are on the same
team.

479
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,880
Yeah, and I didn't necessarily
know that before, which is

480
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:20,200
funny, but so true.
And if we're on the same team,

481
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,560
it always makes sense for
someone to honestly take the

482
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,560
lead on the research and making
decisions.

483
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,120
Absolutely.
And so I need to do my part of

484
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:32,080
giving you the space to do so.
Yeah.

485
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,440
And you do a great job of it.
Thank you.

486
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,120
Thank you.
Yeah.

487
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,720
Can you share the thing that you
told me?

488
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,120
I think maybe it was like during
COVID days that you had heard a

489
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:43,760
guy say that a couple should
always spend time.

490
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,040
Is it face?
Yeah.

491
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:51,360
Do you remember?
So let me go back to the four

492
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:57,160
quadrants of of being a good
husband, father, provider,

493
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:02,440
lover.
And this is a phrase that I

494
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,920
heard in a similar vein, which
is that couples should always

495
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:10,040
spend time face to face, side by
side and belly button to belly

496
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,880
button.
I think it's so good, Yes, and

497
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,920
so true, yes.
And as long as you're spending

498
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,960
that side by side and belly
button to belly button time, the

499
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,840
face to face, I think can really
allow for that.

500
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,000
Disagree and commit, yeah?
I don't know if this makes it

501
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,640
into the episode, but I feel so
grateful that the time that we

502
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,800
spend together isn't just nights
and weekends.

503
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,360
Interesting.
Yeah, I think I know a fair

504
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,400
amount of couples that spend a
whole lot of time together.

505
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:43,600
Yeah, but nights and weekends
are probably the worst times to

506
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,720
connect.
Sure.

507
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,320
Well, it will be really
interesting to see next year

508
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:54,000
when we do not have our nanny
and we are you know already this

509
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,160
weekend with the past couple
weekends without naps we've had

510
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,760
we've connected very differently
during the weekend, right.

511
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:06,160
So I actually think that it will
be a stress test on our

512
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,360
relationship and our connection
when we don't have that third

513
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,960
party support.
Yeah.

514
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,960
And I brought this up.
I said This is why I don't want

515
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,000
Danny to leave is because I
don't.

516
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,360
I know that it's going to be a
stressor on our relationship

517
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:23,200
just to have more compressed
time unencumbered.

518
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,960
Yeah, yeah, we'll see.
And it's already pulling me more

519
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,520
into domestic life and you more
into work, right?

520
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,160
Do you see that?
For now, yeah.

521
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:37,240
I think the that is a you're
funny in that you do things very

522
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,280
early.
You.

523
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,000
You.
You get you.

524
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,120
Get like the laundry started at
6:00 AM kind of thing.

525
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,400
Well, you get no, you get the
kids toys that are like 2 years

526
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,160
ahead of where they are and like
they, they end up using them and

527
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,240
they're great and your vision is
always seen through.

528
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:55,360
But in perfect Danielle fashion,
you've started acting as if we

529
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,800
don't have a nanny. 3 weeks,
four weeks before she leaves.

530
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,200
I know, I know.
You're like, I'm taking the kids

531
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,640
this morning, we're going on
this bike ride and we're going

532
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,720
to go do this and I'm like, OK.
You're like, I can come on that

533
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:09,400
bike ride.
I'm like.

534
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,000
Oh, OK, I'm coming.
Oh, that's great.

535
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,120
It's true.
I on the point of disagree and

536
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,640
commit, I feel like we didn't
have enough examples of how to

537
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,400
do that with our kids when we
had when we talked in the

538
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,000
episode.
And so I wanted to mention that

539
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,920
this week Hunter and I have had
a couple of disagree and commit

540
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,880
conversations about her makers
market this coming weekend.

541
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,680
So at Hunter's school, they're
doing a little like Holiday

542
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,560
Market, but all of the things
that are being sold are being

543
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,560
made by the children.
And so Hunter is wanted to do a

544
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,040
bake shop.
Or as they call it in China, a

545
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:50,480
market.
Oh.

546
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:53,440
My God, Greg.
OK.

547
00:29:55,120 --> 00:30:01,640
Sorry.
Anyway, I don't think she's

548
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,280
going to make money.
She's used to making $100 in an

549
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,480
hour at our out front, at our
lemonade stand because we have

550
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,600
such prime real estate for
people wanting to come by and

551
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,440
give her $20 tips making
lemonade.

552
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,000
But she's going to be in a
market with a bunch of other

553
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,880
children who are trying to sell
their wares.

554
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:22,480
So that automatically decreases
the the cuteness factor, right?

555
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,200
And it's like in an enclosed
space.

556
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,040
So I don't really know how many
people are actually going to

557
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,680
come because they're not going
to get the like passerby traffic

558
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,440
that we do.
Anyway, Long story short, I

559
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,200
think this is a fool's errand.
I do not think this is, I think

560
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,760
it's going to be a money losing
endeavor.

561
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,840
And I am not happy about it.
But she really wants to do it.

562
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,840
And she's figured out that she
only needs to sell 5 bags of

563
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,680
granola in order to make a
profit.

564
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:51,080
And she believes that she can.
And we had the final, the

565
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,000
conversation in the series of
conversations this morning where

566
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,280
she said, I've decided that I
really want to do this.

567
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,560
I'm willing to take the loss and
owe you and daddy money if I

568
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,920
don't sell 5 bags or more of
granola.

569
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,680
And will you commit?
And I said yes.

570
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:12,000
And so I was very explicit with
her that this is, you know, we

571
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,360
ask you, Hunter, to disagree and
commit when you don't feel like

572
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,000
going on a bike ride.
But then you end up having a

573
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,800
wonderful time.
Yeah, Like, this is me

574
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,240
disagreeing, committing.
I'm going to help you to try to

575
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,480
make this the best darn bake
shop that ever was.

576
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,920
Yeah, well done.
Thanks.

577
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,520
Let's see.
OK, so that's disagree and

578
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,960
commit and our disagreement
protocol.

579
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,640
OK.
And then another one on and

580
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,560
identity tension.
How do you navigate the tension

581
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,040
between wanting to be fully
present with your family but

582
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:46,000
also needing space for purpose,
work and fitness outside of

583
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000
parenting?
Whoa.

584
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,720
If anybody has the answer to
this, please share it with me.

585
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,200
Yeah.
It's a daily momentary.

586
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,600
I don't want to call it a
struggle, but I want to call it

587
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,520
like search for balance I guess
search for presents.

588
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:11,480
Yeah, I've been waking up lately
in the morning and just saying,

589
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,040
OK, like you're going to get up
and do hard things.

590
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,320
And I think that that makes it
easier when all of these hard

591
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,440
things show up.
Like I have to find time for

592
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,640
this.
I have to find time for that.

593
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,200
It's a little Marcus Aurelius in
me.

594
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:26,840
It's.
Basically Stoicism.

595
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,040
It's, it's well, it's just like,
I basically wake up, like stop

596
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,840
you and like go do all the
things that you're, that you

597
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,920
have to do and then you can get
back in bed.

598
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:44,960
Oh OK yeah, I have this real
need to do deep work, like to

599
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:51,160
spend solitary time learning.
And when I don't have that, I

600
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,040
find myself, especially during
family time, yearning for that.

601
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,760
And so I think that the the
ultimate gift that I can give to

602
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,960
myself in order to be fully
present with my family is to

603
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,240
make sure that I have that time,
which is hard because it's like

604
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:10,960
got to be two to three hours
straight weekly of being able to

605
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:15,280
sit in solitude and learn or
reflect.

606
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,120
Yeah.
But it's, it's definitely a

607
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,960
challenge.
I would say the biggest tip I

608
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,720
have here is waking up 45
minutes earlier than my kids and

609
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:30,480
just making sure that I have
myself, my morning routine and

610
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,960
some opportunity for a quiet
time before they get up.

611
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,720
Yeah.
I like to think of the next

612
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:41,600
day's plan and making time to go
sit in the place where I can

613
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,800
execute on that plan, which is
typically the office.

614
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,520
But sometimes not making sure
that I'm either side by side

615
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,680
with you if we're executing
together or that I'm sitting in

616
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,400
the office so that I have that
dedicated time and that I plan

617
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,800
it the night before.
Yeah, I mean, the block schedule

618
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,800
is incredibly effective for this
time of life.

619
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,240
That's the answer.
Here is the block schedule.

620
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,040
Yeah, and handoffs, right?
And ad hoc handoffs and being

621
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,240
like, you know what, Greg?
I need 30 minutes to go, like,

622
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,760
wash my face and watch some
housewives.

623
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,040
Like, please feed the kids
tonight.

624
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,040
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.

625
00:34:12,199 --> 00:34:13,960
OK.
And then the last one, if

626
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,960
parents take just one idea or
process from your podcast to

627
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,239
start with, what should it be?
Well, we talked about the

628
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:26,040
present moment and that is
really the reason why we do

629
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,760
this.
But there's so much more to it.

630
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:34,040
Like the present moment is, is
almost the the product that

631
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,320
we're creating through all of
the culture building and all of

632
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,199
the team building.
It's still sometimes elusive.

633
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,120
It's.
It's messy until you find the

634
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,760
right containers.
Yeah.

635
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,199
Well, we're definitely in this
like storming, forming, norming

636
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,760
opportunity right now.
Yeah.

637
00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:57,240
I mean, so if parents take one
idea or process from our

638
00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:04,760
podcast, I would say it is this
positive coming from a place of

639
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,520
competence.
We are a vitamin, not a

640
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,800
painkiller approach.
And I really think that if you

641
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,520
think about like the DSM four
and like the diagnostic model

642
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,960
where you have like a problem
and then you have a solution on

643
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,640
like how to repair it, that is
not what we're doing here.

644
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,760
What we're doing here is more in
the realm of like positive

645
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:29,120
psychology and just like the
Happiness Project and ways to

646
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,920
continue to keep the momentum
going that we have.

647
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,920
Leaning into what already works
as a family, focusing on those

648
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,840
moments of connection and
belonging, and creating a rhythm

649
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:46,240
of rituals that allow you to
have joy as a family.

650
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:52,000
Absolutely, absolutely.
The the family is a team.

651
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,880
That's what it comes down to.
Yeah.

652
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,920
And and I would say just to
counterpoint that family as a

653
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:04,680
team, it's stopping the focus on
the one parent to one child.

654
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,640
Here's my script.
Here's my opportunity to

655
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,960
perform.
If I do all the things on the

656
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,800
checklist and the child is still
have and my child is still

657
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:18,360
having a tantrum, I have somehow
failed as a parent.

658
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,000
Like that is the stuff that we
really want to get away from.

659
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:26,360
We want, we would love nothing
more than to be the space where

660
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:32,400
mothers and fathers as leaders
of their family come together to

661
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:37,880
focus on setting vision and
creating values aligned decision

662
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,760
making together.
As opposed to, oh, I just read

663
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,320
this book.
I'm going to try these

664
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,600
techniques with one of our three
kids.

665
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:47,920
Can you at least support me in
that?

666
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,720
Right.
Yeah, there's a lot of parenting

667
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:55,320
advice out there, and most of it
is about fixing moments, right?

668
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,080
And here at Team IT, we believe
in building momentum.

669
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,720
Yes.
We're not raising kids, we're

670
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,400
building culture.
OK, I like that.

671
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:09,640
Yeah, so that's us.
That's been 2025 at team it an

672
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,360
amazing 1st 40 episodes.
Yeah.

673
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,360
In a nutshell.
And I think we'll do this again.

674
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,200
There are a couple questions
that we weren't able to get to.

675
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,280
So we'll do that next time.
And thanks so much for

676
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,920
listening.
We hope that you continue to.

677
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,520
Yeah, and have a wonderful
holiday and we'll see you in

678
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,120
January.
Yeah, love you, Goosy.

679
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,960
Love you goosy.
Hey guys, if you're still here,

680
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,640
you're definitely our kind of
person.

681
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,640
Thanks for spending this time
with us on The Most Important

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00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,200
Thing.
If this episode resonated with

683
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,640
you, we'd love for you to follow
us wherever you get your

684
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,840
podcasts and share it with
someone else.

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00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,560
Building family culture on
purpose.