TMIT 38: Choose Guilt Over Resentment (Boundaries Part 2)

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Welcome to the most important
thing.

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I'm Danielle.
And I'm Greg, and together we're

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talking about a new game we just
played yesterday and want to

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tell you all about.
Yes, Oh my goodness.

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It's called sardines.
And it was Hunter's idea.

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Apparently she learned it at
school.

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So at the end of family meeting
yesterday, we played our first

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round and it's basically the
opposite of hide and seek.

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A much more cooperative version,
I think I would call it.

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Sure.
Anyway, so the point of the

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game, which we encourage you to
play at home, is that one person

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hides and everyone else has to
seek.

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But when you find the person
hiding, you then hide with them.

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And so eventually you pile into
the hiding spot like a can of

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sardines, and the last person to
find the group is the hider for

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the next round.
Yeah.

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Right.
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

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It was so fun.
And yeah, just way less

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individual.
I will say that like being the

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last person and trying to find
the group feels a little bit

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like, oh, I'm not in belonging.
But then immediately you become

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the person that hides and starts
it over.

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So I don't know, I just felt
like it was really a much more

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connecting version of the game.
And I love hide and seek so this

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just elevated it.
Probably works better in like a

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old three story Victorian house
with the basement and like lots

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of nooks and crannies.
Our house is pretty much open

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floor plan downstairs and then
upstairs there's bedrooms that

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everyone knows all the hiding
spots already.

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So Maverick and I innovative by
going outside and we stuck

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ourselves in a corner near some
shrubs.

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And we knew you went outside.
I know you did.

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We we solved that part of the
puzzle.

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But the three of you were
walking by while he and I are

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just laughing.
Yeah, we I'm not the world's

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best looker.
I'm actually one of the worst.

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I just figured hiding in the
shadows, you know, and that's

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maybe a good segue.
Hiding in the shadows, yeah.

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Some some more shadow selves to.
Talk, absolutely, yes.

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So family culture and leadership
at home.

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And the topic today is
authority.

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Yeah.
So really, when we talk about

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authority, we're not talking
about rules, right?

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But we are talking about the
internal posture of adulthood.

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Really, my favorite definition
is the integrated capacity to

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lead and be LED, because it
really is this balance of

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claiming authority but also
submitting ourselves to

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legitimate authority.
And I think that's basically the

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definition of adulthood, if you
will.

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How to relate maturely to power?
Yes, there you go.

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Absolutely.
And I think we've danced around

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this idea a couple, you know, a
lot in our conversations around

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accountability and boundaries
and even trickster energy.

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We've talked a lot about it.
So, you know, probably most of

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you know that I struggle to
claim authority and I hope it's

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all right to say that I think
that you struggle to submit to

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legitimate authority.
Even when it's inside of me.

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Yeah, exactly.
So we do think that it's a

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conversation really worth
bringing into the light, making

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explicit because this is one of
the primary things I think is so

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important as leaders of our
family and also to kind of also

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to get right as an adult, not
just for ourselves, but for our

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kids as well.
So authority means, one, the

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inner clarity to stand for what
is right even when it costs

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approval.
OK, we can certainly go down

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that route to the steadiness to
lead others responsibly,

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steadiness being the operative
word there.

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And three, the humility to yield
to guidance that is wiser,

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older, or truer than your own
instincts.

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Sure.
Yeah, absolutely.

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And so today we're really going
to unpack ways that we can claim

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our authority and ways that we
can submit to legitimate

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authority.
And we'll also talk about a fun

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framework that can really open
up our understanding.

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That's right.
Yeah, so shall we dig in?

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We shall.
OK, so claiming authority three

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ways.
The first is by crossing a

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psychological threshold.
And this is really about

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stepping out of our peer group
mentality.

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And so I just finished this
wonderful book called 10 to 25

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by Doctor David Yeager and it
really talks about the

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importance of status and respect
in adolescence and earned

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prestige, right.
So there's a something that

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starts happening to us around
the age of 10 to 25, and it

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really changes the way our
brains are wired where we become

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extremely sensitive to the
feedback of a group of our

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group, right?
Which when you think about it,

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that makes total sense because
after you're a child, your job

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is to contribute to the group or
you will be cast out, right?

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And so learning how to fit in,
how to please the group, how to

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earn status and respect within
your community is really

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important for a time.
And I think that's really like,

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I'll call it adult initiation.
Yeah.

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But then there comes a time
where we must crossed into

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another way of thinking and so
the aspect of adulting around

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claiming authority is really not
caring so much what other people

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think and making choices that
are right for us.

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Yes, absolutely.
What, what really came up for me

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when I started understanding
this first of three ways that we

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can really claim our authority
is that for a long time, really

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until the past few months, I'd
say this year, we have been in

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survival mode, right?
We moved quite a few times.

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We had three kids in four years.
We actually this is the first

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week that Maverick has not
napped.

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So we are now a no nap family,
which certainly comes with its

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own challenges.
I feel like I got no downtime in

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rest this weekend.
So we're calibrating, but we are

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now in a place where we are able
to start making more values

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aligned choices and really
facing the group and saying this

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is what works for us.
This doesn't in a new in a

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deeper way.
Like I think nobody invites us

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to evening events for kids
anymore.

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They don't even bother telling
us.

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Like I heard that all of the
kids at Hunters Elementary

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School were at some bonfire at
Lake Worth on Friday night and I

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didn't even know about it.
And that is fine because there's

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just no way that we're going,
right?

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Do I love those people?
Do those people love me?

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Absolutely.
And part of love is knowing the

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new Felds, you're not going to
see them after sunset, right?

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So that's, you know, I think
we've done a great job of facing

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that group.
Now we are doing this with

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people closer to us that are
more deeply involved with our

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children.
Where in the past, say those

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that are taking care of our
kids, I've received feedback

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that, you know, maybe they're on
their phones too much or their

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discipline tactics are different
than the conscious discipline

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that we treat our kids.
And I've been like, you know

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what?
Survival mode.

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I know.
And I need reliable child care.

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I need consistent cut child
care.

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I need people who where the
trains are going to run on time

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so that I can do my thing and
truly just survive.

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And so thanks for your feedback.
And I'm, I'm looking the other

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way.
Yeah.

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Right.
Totally.

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Because we've needed help.
Yeah, well, what's really

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interesting is this expression
that has been contested lately.

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Oh.
It's actually apparently a meme

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that goes back something like 30
years where people are

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challenging the definition of
blood is thicker than water.

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The saying.
Yeah, the saying right to

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actually mean.
Oh, OK.

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So I guess what you're saying is
this week we received a reel on

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social media that challenged the
idea that blood is thicker than

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water and said this actually has
been mistranslated for

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centuries.
It's actually the blood of the

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covenant is thicker than the
water of the womb.

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Meaning this holiday season, you
can be with your your family of

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choice, not your family of
origin, right, Right.

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And we're like.
I feel seen.

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I feel seen.
I'm.

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Sending it to all my friends who
have challenging relationships

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with their extended family.
But of course.

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We checked Reddit.
And not true, not.

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True.
False fake news, yeah, but.

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Yet so deeply resonant, right?
Deeply resonant.

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There's a reason why this is
going around and has been going

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around apparently since the 90s,
right?

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When we come to these concentric
circles and in times of trouble,

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sure, it's pretty easy to pile
on to somebody and give them

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what they need.
But when you're emerging and an

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emergent being and are trying to
figure out what works for you,

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it's always been our friends
that come first to us and say

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hey, we're here to support you
however you need.

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They never are questioning.
Maybe they say this is what

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worked for me and we're there
to.

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But honestly, like true
friendship is just seeing what

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your friend needs and
understanding that sometimes

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it's empathy, not a solution,
and sometimes it's just being

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quiet and listening, right?
And so there's a reason why this

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meme has been going around for a
while.

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I think that the challenge here
is that the challenge here is

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that family.
Family just has a lot of

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baggage.
And again that disagree and

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commit hat like everyone in the
Neufeld household I would put it

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on for, but I can't think of too
many other people that I would

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other than my friends.
And so, you know, we were joking

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yesterday on our run that this
is kind of like the Boundaries

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Redux episode like 6 months
later.

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You know, I think we came in
pretty hot on Boundaries.

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Things were pretty fresh for us
in our family.

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I think we're, we are currently,
we are kind of peeling back the

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onion even further as we enter
this new season of Maverick.

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Not taking naps, 3 kids in full
time school, the holidays

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coming.
Just really thinking about what

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does, what do we need in this
phase of our family?

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And where do we need to, to
trust our intuition, which is

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the second aspect of claiming
our authority and set clear

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boundaries, this time without
emotional leakage, right?

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So those really are the three
ways to claim authority to cross

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that psychological threshold
from that, I'll call it

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adolescent adulthood, where we
learn how to fit in and belong

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with a broader group into really
what works for me, what works

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for our family, right?
And we do that by trusting our

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intuition and setting clear
boundaries without emotional

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leakage.
And I will fall on my sword and

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say six months ago when we did
our boundaries episode, I think

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there was a lot of really great
stuff that happened.

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It happened in a way that I
would that I hope I can heal a

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bit from six months later, if
that makes sense.

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The emotional leakage part,
sure.

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I would call it the rebound or
the the the underside of

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collapsing to keep the peace,
right?

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So what you're saying is that
for us, we didn't claim

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authority for the past number of
years.

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We did collapse to keep the
peace.

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And so when we finally kind of
picked our heads up out of

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survival mode, we set some quick
boundaries for Firmly, but

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perhaps with some extra
emotional baggage.

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Sure.
Yeah.

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The product market fit and
analogy I think really holds

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here where product market fit
feels like when you're finding

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it, you're pushing the boulder
uphill.

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That's what it felt like for us
in just managing and getting

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through the toddler ears, right?
And everyone push, yes,

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whoever's around you, push you.
What are you doing?

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Come push, right?
But now that the boulder's at

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the top of the hill and we need
to control it down the hill,

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there are people, lots of people
have different opinions as to

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which way it should roll, how
fast it should roll, how they

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should control it.
Like there's a, there's one way

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to push, but there's so many
ways to get it going and, and

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it's rolling like it, it, this
is culture.

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It's going to happen whether you
manage it or not, right?

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So we're managing it in the way
that we know to be true.

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And we're seeing the fallout
where there are people around

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that are just saying, hey, you
know, I helped you get to the

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top.
Like, what about my opinions,

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00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,800
right?
I understand that, right?

231
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I really do understand why that
shows up.

232
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:15,600
Yeah, I think it's probably not
unlike a startup where the

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people or even I can think about
Citadel in 2008 to 20/12/2013

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00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,200
when we finally got, you know,
reached the high watermark and

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started to be on steady or
ground, which is like whoever is

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here, like please, you know,
whoever is here, work hard, do

237
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the best you can.
But there comes a point maybe

238
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after a Series A or Series B
where we're like, OK, the people

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00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,560
that got us here are not
necessarily, it happens even

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00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,360
with CEOs, right?
Not necessarily the people that

241
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,000
are going to get us to the next
phase.

242
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:52,440
And that's OK.
So how do we connect in a new

243
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,440
way?
How do we move your position?

244
00:14:55,440 --> 00:15:00,520
How do we really say this is
what we need as a family in this

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next phase and you're not a part
of it?

246
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,200
It's about resetting
expectations.

247
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,480
Yeah, OK.
Right.

248
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,440
It's not saying you're not a
part of it.

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00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,720
It's just resetting expectations
and being like, OK, this is

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00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,880
basically we're we're drafting a
whole new team.

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00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,360
So is it?
You can be a part of it in a

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00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,760
different way, correct?
OK.

253
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,480
But the way that you showed up,
and I hate to be talking in

254
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:30,480
these like generalities without
specifics, but as you can

255
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,760
understand people at home,
friends.

256
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,960
Apologies truly for the lack of
specificity here.

257
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,000
You know, it turns out that when
you start a podcast, people

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00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,880
don't necessarily like, like to
be called out, right?

259
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:48,280
So we are trying to be
respectful of not naming folks

260
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,000
individually while still talking
about and sharing this really

261
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,440
important subject of how to
claim our authority.

262
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,480
I would say that it's you can
think about it as the folks that

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00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,080
are closest to our immediate
family in that next concentric

264
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:07,920
circle that our children know
and that the folks that care

265
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:12,640
take our children when we are
not around is really where we

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00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,440
are having to now that we are
out of survival mode.

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00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:22,200
Make change, right, Make change.
And this is and to do it

268
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:27,280
appropriately is tricky because
these folks have helped us

269
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,920
immeasurably for the past eight
years and we really needed and

270
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:39,080
appreciate that help.
And if you're not willing to get

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00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,520
on board with what's happening
in the next chapter of this

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00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,880
family's life, your role is
going to change of.

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00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,360
Course.
Right.

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00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:51,680
And so for us, it's been a
series of conversations over the

275
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,040
past number of months with
people close to us in our life

276
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,600
saying, you know, we are picking
our heads up.

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00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,400
We are getting more, we're
building in public here on this

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00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,760
podcast.
And so we are getting more

279
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:07,760
explicit about what matters to
us and where before we could

280
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,240
look the other way when things
didn't feel good.

281
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,599
Quite frankly, it's not just us
that are picking our heads up

282
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:19,640
now, finally, it's the kids too.
And so they notice when an adult

283
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,319
in their life is treating them
in a way that we would never

284
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,880
right?
Yes.

285
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,600
And they don't like it.
And so it's all of us that are

286
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,400
feeling uncomfortable and need
to make change.

287
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,120
Well said.
Thank you.

288
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,800
So we're starting to claim our
authority, and I will never say

289
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,920
that we do it perfectly, but I
do think that if we trust our

290
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,600
intuition and try to set these
boundaries without emotional

291
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,360
leakage, it will go a long way.
Couldn't agree more.

292
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,520
OK, look at us like we're, you
know, we're doing the research,

293
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,040
we're doing the work here.
You can't.

294
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,840
You can't argue that we're not
trying.

295
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,960
Yes.
So that is Part 2 of boundaries.

296
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,240
Six months later.
We will keep you posted on how

297
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,560
it's going, but but you know,
there's been a lot of clarity in

298
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,960
the past six months and a lot of
peace for us.

299
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,560
Yeah, that comes with setting
boundaries.

300
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,920
Yes, right.
OK, so now let's talk about the

301
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:22,080
flip side, which is submitting
to legitimate authority, really

302
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,160
how we as adults can stay
teachable.

303
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,360
And the three ways that I have
researched and how to stay

304
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:33,720
teachable are to stay humble
through things like not knowing

305
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:39,480
vulnerability and curiosity by
letting ourselves be shaped by

306
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,440
wisdom beyond us.
And we can talk more about that

307
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,800
in a second and then three by
bowing to something larger than

308
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,240
ourselves.
So the stay humble part I think

309
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,320
is really self-explanatory and
speaks a lot to topics that

310
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,840
we've already discussed.
So I won't get too much into it.

311
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:01,640
Around vulnerability and courage
and staying open to things like

312
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,760
awe and wonder.
Letting ourselves be shaped by

313
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:12,240
wisdom beyond us, I think is a
important one to work through

314
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,960
though, because I would say that
a prerequisite to this is really

315
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,040
being discerning in who we let
in.

316
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,120
And as we've discussed before, I
don't always have the best

317
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:29,160
discernment around who to let in
and have a tendency to leave

318
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,720
that door wide, wide open to
whoever.

319
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,760
What open house, open house,
right?

320
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:39,920
And so I am first learning that
I need to be more mindful about

321
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,360
who comes into my inner circle
before I can really take

322
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,560
guidance.
Luckily in my open house mode, I

323
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,840
did get some really great
winners, like some amazing gems,

324
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,480
you know?
And so the goal is just kind of

325
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,160
like a cocktail party really.
You want to like, OK, everybody,

326
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,080
time to go, but then like the
real friends stay.

327
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:01,400
So that's where I am.
I think that's beautiful.

328
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:07,680
Yeah.
For me, I trust people that I've

329
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,320
never met and I don't trust
anyone that I have.

330
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:15,960
Yeah, that's where I show up.
I am much better through reading

331
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,800
books and listening to podcasts
and gaining wisdom that way by

332
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,360
listening to the believability
of somebody that I've never seen

333
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:28,080
their flaws, then the person
that is too close to me.

334
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,040
And actually, I don't think
that's really that.

335
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,720
I don't think.
I think that's pretty normal.

336
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:43,480
So when I think about back to
like listening to a friend's

337
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:49,240
podcast and teeing it up and
being like, I don't really want

338
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,160
to listen to this, but I'm going
to, I'm going to do it.

339
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,400
Anyway, oh, like you talked
about in the success of others

340
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,440
part of pro mindset, Sure,
episode 29.

341
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:01,000
So, so in, you know, a smart
peer, it's hard for me to listen

342
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,760
to to anything that he would
have to say just because I know

343
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,120
him and I'm like that guy, you
know?

344
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,000
May I ask a question, a personal
question?

345
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:17,360
Do you think that not being able
to seek guidance from people

346
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:25,120
close to you has to do with your
father and the way that he was

347
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:30,080
untruthful to you, how he
portrayed himself as like the

348
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:35,520
ultimate wisdom bearer, but then
ultimately was a fraud?

349
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,760
I'm sorry, that's a tough word,
but I was fraudulent in some

350
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,640
ways.
I I would say that I have a

351
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:47,080
fixed mindset about certain
things because I worry that I

352
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:51,480
have inherited traits that would
lead me down the wrong path in

353
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,000
those areas.
So I just stay away from them.

354
00:21:53,400 --> 00:22:03,320
And one of them is finding like
I, I learn a lot from my peers,

355
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,680
but I stay away from any peer
telling me anything about

356
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:14,160
investing, so to speak.
So it's really certain subjects.

357
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:19,560
And another one that I would say
is pretty off limits is

358
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,520
marriage.
And another one that I would say

359
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,000
is pretty off limits is raising
family.

360
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,560
And the reason that I think
these are off limits is because

361
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,080
I had the worst model behavior
on investments and the best

362
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,720
model behavior on family growing
up.

363
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,320
And so I have.
I just trust.

364
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,000
From the same person.
From the same person and I just

365
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,440
trust my own intuition in those
areas because I, I feel like,

366
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,280
oh, those areas are the areas
that I've got and investing

367
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,640
where, where it comes to
investing.

368
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:56,000
Like I'm like, I want to stay
away from advice in that area at

369
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,560
all costs because I had been
burned.

370
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,400
I've been burned.
Yeah.

371
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,280
Can you share a little bit about
that, just to be specific here?

372
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:08,760
Sure.
So I was big into computers

373
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:15,640
growing up and my, my summer
job, my weekend job, my everyday

374
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,640
job was fixing computers around
town.

375
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,080
And I thought that I had the
best job in the world.

376
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,240
I was making good money.
I was doing what I loved.

377
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:31,200
And then one day my dad said to
me, you know, the real way to to

378
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:37,560
have a happy life is to be able
to, to invest in really in

379
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,760
futures, you know, invest in
futures.

380
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,800
And you'll never work a day in
your life because you can do it

381
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,600
from anywhere.
You can use leverage, You know,

382
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,000
you can make lots of money on
just small moves.

383
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,960
And clearly he had been
regurgitating some stuff that

384
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:56,560
had been pushed to him by like,
you know, financial newsletters

385
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,400
and things that are out there to
make a buck.

386
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,280
And I, you know, being an
impressionable kid, I was like,

387
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:10,800
tell me more, right?
And so for four years or so, I

388
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,760
went down the rabbit hole of
learning all of the things that

389
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,800
my dad had learned around
investing in futures.

390
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:24,440
And, you know, when in in a time
of crazy volatility in the 2008

391
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:28,040
global financial crisis, it
became pretty clear that he had

392
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:34,200
not really learned anything,
that that he had been sold of a

393
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,960
raw bill of goods and that he
was pushing that out to me as,

394
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:44,960
as if it were truth.
And that was really, really hard

395
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:54,760
to see, you know, my hero who
kind of had amazing intuition

396
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,680
and amazing advice and, and, and
otherwise, you know, never let

397
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,240
me down.
Let me down.

398
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:09,000
Yeah.
So it is hard for me just in the

399
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,040
area of investing, especially
family and and kids too, but for

400
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,280
good reasons to to listen to
anyone else, yeah.

401
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,760
It was really nice to hear you
talk with Hunter a couple of

402
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:26,040
days ago about investing.
Yeah, it felt like a rebirth, if

403
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:26,920
you will.
Yes.

404
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,480
And to be clear, you know, my
job as a venture capital

405
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,440
investor is about picking
people.

406
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,120
And that's why I feel really
comfortable in my seat is

407
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:41,760
because I can pick good people
both from a, who am I partnering

408
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,400
with on another with another
firm and who is the entrepreneur

409
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,920
that is leading this ship?
And that's where I spend most of

410
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,640
my time is picking people
because I want to be as far away

411
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,440
from the numbers.
Picking, you know, picking

412
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,600
securities is possible.
And yes, he has.

413
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,200
Partners that do that for.
What it's like exactly.

414
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,280
And, and, and I loved talking
with Hunter the other day

415
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,000
because you know, I got to talk
to her about like the Warren

416
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,200
Buffett, John Bogle like
methodology of just buying the

417
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,800
S&P and showed her what's in the
S&P and why getting exposure to

418
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,440
all these stocks is a great way
to do it.

419
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:27,400
And why, you know, there's
there's so much optimism in in

420
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,920
America by just buying what is
America?

421
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,680
And I think you explained to her
that there's a lot you don't

422
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,760
know, right?
And there's a lot for you 2 to

423
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,840
learn together.
And you had said to me

424
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,200
afterwards that you felt like
that was really an important

425
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,320
thing to present to her, that to
make sure that she knows that

426
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,520
you are not all knowing,
especially in the world of

427
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,480
finance.
Yeah.

428
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,800
Yeah.
So you have an opportunity to do

429
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,240
things differently.
Big time.

430
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,640
Yeah.
But it does explain to me what I

431
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,040
hear you continuously say and
have said today, which is that

432
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,400
the people that you feel
comfortable taking guidance

433
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,800
from, you don't know personally.
Yeah.

434
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,280
That's right.
Yeah.

435
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,360
I, I built a, a successful
business on mostly the advice of

436
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,840
like public conversations and
biographies and, you know, other

437
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,800
people's kind of discussions
about what constitutes the, the

438
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,320
best venture capital product and
the lived experience as well,

439
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,600
obviously.
But I didn't start a venture

440
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,080
capital firm with any mentors.
Yeah, in the business.

441
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:39,880
So the the hypothesis, the how
do I say, I'm just trying to

442
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,760
figure out how to say this in a
manner in which you will be

443
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,880
receptive.
Yeah.

444
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,400
Is that those are one way
conversations.

445
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:53,960
They don't enable you to seek
feedback on what's happening for

446
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,280
you.
And so while I think they can be

447
00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:01,240
really helpful and can get you
far in life, I want for you as

448
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:06,440
my beloved, to be able to have
people sorry, to get emotional,

449
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,480
to be able to have people who
who's was, who can be in

450
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,080
dialogue with you and impart
wisdom in that way.

451
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,080
Yeah, I agree.
And I think that all of the

452
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,280
therapy that I've done and all
the work with the coach that

453
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,480
I've done and finally gotten me
to a place where that becomes

454
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,360
possible, especially in this
phase of life.

455
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,480
Great.
Some more will be revealed.

456
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,400
Yeah.
Anybody out there, if you want

457
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:36,680
to be Greg's mentor, he's open.
Yeah, well, there's part of.

458
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,640
There's a reason why.
It's a great reason, Greg, great

459
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,080
reason.
No, but I mean, there's there's

460
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,480
a reason why the kids are
calling this podcast Founders

461
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,360
for Families.
I mean, you know, like we're

462
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,280
bringing it to them.
This is the gospel of of

463
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,960
leadership from the best in the
world, but we're applying it to

464
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,800
the thing that we think we have
the opportunity or the

465
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,720
possibility of being the best.
In the world, yes, exactly.

466
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,320
Taking those ideas and
translating them to family life.

467
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,360
Yeah, exactly.
OK so we talked about staying

468
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,720
humble and we talked about
seeking wisdom from our elders,

469
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,080
if you will.
A work in progress for us.

470
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,200
Yeah, yeah.
And then the third is bowing to

471
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,680
something larger than ourselves.
And I love this quote from Lisa

472
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:20,480
Marciano in The Vital Spark
where she says finding personal

473
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,800
authority will require us to
connect with the divine

474
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,400
principle, or that which is
larger than self.

475
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,280
Having a living connection to
the Goddess helps us know our

476
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,760
place in the cosmos.
We are neither too arrogant nor

477
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,720
too humble, but we can claim a
rightful place because a

478
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,400
relationship with the divine
sustains us.

479
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,600
And you wonder why Secular
Family Podcast never existed

480
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,840
before us.
I mean, you think about what did

481
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,920
we point out that culture is all
of these things that a religion

482
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,400
hands to you?
Yes, absolutely.

483
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:59,000
On a silver platter and says
here are rituals, here is a

484
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,720
community, here are words,
source material, source

485
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,160
material, common language,
common language, shared values,

486
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,760
artifact, like everything right?
Here you go.

487
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,160
Yes, customs, everything.
And for us, if we're, if we're

488
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,720
not a part of a religious group
and you know, maybe we have a

489
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,440
higher power, but the higher
power doesn't come with all

490
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,040
these other things.
And so as a family, we need to

491
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,240
bring those to the table.
We have an.

492
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,720
Opportunity to create them,
absolutely.

493
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:31,160
And I do think whether it's
nature or the divine stillness,

494
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,920
whatever it is, connecting to
something larger than ourselves

495
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:39,840
is how we stay.
Not too arrogant or too humble,

496
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,000
as she says.
Kind of keep that that steady

497
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:50,240
connection to claim authority in
this context in a grounded

498
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,360
manner.
Yeah.

499
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:58,040
OK, so to recap, the flip side
of claiming our authority is

500
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,800
submitting to legitimate
authority, and the way that we

501
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:07,680
do that is by staying humble,
letting ourselves be open to the

502
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,480
wisdom of others, and staying
connected to whatever higher

503
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,600
power you can connect with.
Yes.

504
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:20,280
And in researching this episode,
there is a framework that I

505
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,360
found particularly applicable.
It's something that I think

506
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,000
about a lot, and I'm excited to
be able to talk about it today.

507
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,000
And that is Gretchen Rubin's 4
tendencies.

508
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,080
And so we'll put it up on the
screen, but basically it is the

509
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,760
way that we as an individual
interact with with the world

510
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,840
through our inner and outer
expectations and whether we meet

511
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,720
or resist inner or outer
expectations.

512
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,080
And so the four types are the
Upholder who meets both outer

513
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:52,120
and inner expectations, the
questioner who resists outer

514
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:56,920
expectations but meets inner
expectations, the Obliger who

515
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,000
meets outer expectations but
resists inner expectations, and

516
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,120
the Rebel who resists both.
And so there's a quiz that we

517
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,400
can link to in the show notes
where you can take it yourself.

518
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,240
But I, I find that this one,
most people don't need to take a

519
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,960
quiz.
No, you know it immediately.

520
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,600
And Greg and I, it will not
surprise you, are on polar

521
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:21,360
opposites of this spectrum.
I am the Upholder who meets both

522
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,800
inner and outer expectations
and.

523
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,280
And I'm the rebel who resists
both inner and outer

524
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,760
expectations.
That's right.

525
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,520
I think that resisting inner
expectations was a a good way to

526
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,200
put it.
I didn't actually have that

527
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,440
language before, but I like it.
It's it's helpful because I my

528
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,280
intuitions usually good, but
sometimes I resist it just

529
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,960
because I want to have autonomy.
Sure, if that makes sense.

530
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,280
Yeah, definitely.
And the reason why I wanted to

531
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,800
bring up this framework when it,
as it relates to authority is

532
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:57,400
because this is a place where I
actually my need to meet outer

533
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,760
and inner expectations, they
aren't aligned.

534
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,920
Does that make sense?
And so I have an internal rumble

535
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:09,440
because I have to accept that if
I'm going to choose my intuition

536
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,120
over the feelings of the group
of over the reactions that I may

537
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,840
get that that's hard for an
Upholder, right?

538
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,240
If I were, if I were a
questioner, I suppose that would

539
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,600
be easier.
But I am, I am motivated by

540
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,720
alignment.
Like I would say integrity is

541
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,360
when your insides match your
outsides.

542
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,200
And that is like one of my
personal core values is to, is

543
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:37,880
to have integrity, right?
And so I have to really

544
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:45,760
strengthen my intuition and be
OK with the pushback, which has

545
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:50,760
been very challenging for me
across family, across the

546
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,240
medical field.
I mean, you name it, When I

547
00:33:54,880 --> 00:34:00,080
encounter authority that their
expectations do not meet mine,

548
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,120
it can be very challenging for
me.

549
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,960
Yeah, I I'm coming up with the
whole line of merch here.

550
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:10,159
I mean, in addition to our
disagree and commit hats, I'm

551
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,960
definitely going to make a a
line of shirts, maybe

552
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,159
sweatshirts that say choose
guilt over resentment.

553
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,000
And I feel like this is an
appropriate term no matter where

554
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,480
you fall on the spectrum,
because if you can choose guilt

555
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:28,239
and to guilt being something
that other people, you know, ask

556
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,199
of you that you don't believe
you need to uphold.

557
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,520
Yes.
And then over the resentment

558
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,600
where if you did the thing that
other people ask of you or that

559
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,880
you ask of yourself, right, or
didn't do right, you would

560
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:44,480
resent that.
So that is I think the like the

561
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,920
pinnacle of of how to heal any
of these.

562
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,600
Choose guilt over resentment.
Yes.

563
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:54,159
Yeah.
Yes, it's a good one if you you

564
00:34:54,159 --> 00:34:57,840
can handle the cognitive
dissonance internally the the

565
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:03,880
dissonance internally, right and
be OK rather than the fire that

566
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:08,200
is created by resentment that is
preferable always.

567
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,720
Yeah, always.
Especially coming out of this

568
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:16,280
phase for us to tie back to just
like that Boulder's rolling

569
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,560
downhill.
We got to choose our team

570
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,640
wisely.
We need to make sure that we

571
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,840
steered in the right direction
and if other people aren't

572
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,320
willing to steer it in that
direction and we got to kick

573
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,880
them off the team and we could
feel guilty about it, but at

574
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,920
least we're not going to be
resentful of them being on the

575
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,960
team.
Yes, that's so true.

576
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,120
And but we have to do it in an
appropriate way.

577
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:39,480
We cannot control other people's
reactions, but we can do it in a

578
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:43,840
way that feels right to our
hearts right and is not done

579
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,040
with with fire and anger, but
it's done from a peaceful place

580
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,840
that really has love at the
center.

581
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,880
Being back to anger, being an
emotion that just delays

582
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,200
compassion, right?
If we're just delaying, like,

583
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,360
let's just not show up with the
anger when we're doing it.

584
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:05,120
Yeah, you know, we can, we can
kick him out, but let's not do

585
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,080
it when we're like, you know,
red in the face.

586
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,160
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.

587
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,800
Sorry everyone that kicked out
when I was red in the face.

588
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,520
Same.
OK, great.

589
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,280
So what are you taking away from
this conversation?

590
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,160
Who?
What was this about?

591
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,120
I.
Know it's been a long one, guys.

592
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:31,080
Boundaries Part 2 For me, I like
to think about these like little

593
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,280
catch phrases that I can bring
into life.

594
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:37,160
So if you're not on my disagree
and commit team, you're in a

595
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,760
different in a different circle.
You're, you're on, you're on the

596
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,880
outs.
Similarly, you know, coming out

597
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:50,040
of this phase of, of the toddler
years and choosing what's right

598
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:54,080
for us.
Friends have been really great

599
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,080
resources.
And I'm going to keep leaning on

600
00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:01,360
them because they have less to
gain and less to lose and

601
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,880
they're going to be a lot more
honest.

602
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,520
I'd love to.
Hear you say that.

603
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:05,840
Yeah.
Leaning on friends.

604
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,520
Yeah.
And the community like more

605
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,840
broadly, and we'll talk about
that another time.

606
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:19,440
But so those two, and then I
think as a rebel choosing guilt

607
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:24,080
over resentment, for me, it
means that am I going to resent

608
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,520
myself for not listening to my
intuition, for not taking

609
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:33,640
someone seriously, you know, or
am I going to feel guilty, you

610
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,400
know, by actually doing the
thing that's really hard for me.

611
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,920
So what about you?
We've said a lot.

612
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:48,160
I think that right now I really
need to.

613
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,640
It's the next evolution of me
claiming my authority.

614
00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:55,640
I'm claiming my authority as the
mom of kids, if that makes

615
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,200
sense, as opposed to the mom of
babies, right?

616
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,920
I, I went all around town with
our kids this weekend in a way

617
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,000
that I, you know, they're all
walking.

618
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,200
No one's in a stroller, no one's
on my body were like actually

619
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,600
four different beings in stores
and things like that, if that

620
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:17,880
makes sense.
So I am learning there's like

621
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,360
this increasing distance, right?
Like the babies go from your

622
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,920
belly.
Then I'm nursing them for a

623
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,560
while, then I'm carrying them
all around that I'm holding

624
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,800
their hand constantly or they're
in the stroller.

625
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:31,000
And now they're actually all
walking on their own wherever we

626
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,960
go, right?
And so claiming my authority in

627
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:38,720
this space means that I have
still not a ton of time to

628
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:42,400
myself, but more like the blocks
of time get longer in each of

629
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,320
these phases, right?
And so I used to have like every

630
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,440
15 minutes and then it was like
every 45.

631
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:51,520
And now I find myself with hours
sometimes of stretch of time

632
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,040
during the week while they're at
school and I am able to get

633
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,880
things done.
And so it's a long way of saying

634
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,720
just wanting to step into my
authority in this phase of

635
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:05,200
motherhood, in this phase of,
you know, the last six months of

636
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:11,160
my 30s, in trusting my intuition
and facing the group in setting

637
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:15,040
boundaries in a compassionate
way for both of us.

638
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,760
Yeah, I love that.
Sorry if I keep referring to you

639
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,000
as 40.
I feel like I just I feel like I

640
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,360
lump you in with me where I'm
like we're in our 40s now.

641
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,480
You're not yet.
No, I'm that takes more months.

642
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:30,280
Yeah, yeah, So.
But I, I love what you said

643
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,960
there.
I think that I I I love for you

644
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,280
to have the blocks of time.
I'd love for you to be giving

645
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,200
them to yourself.
I love.

646
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,840
I would love for you not to be
giving them to administrative

647
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,120
things that.
I may have over my extended

648
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,880
myself in the sense of service
this quarter, but I will

649
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:52,600
calibrate.
I know, I know.

650
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:57,720
You will and I I love that you
are modeling it for our kids.

651
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,480
Choosing.
Choosing guilt over resentment.

652
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,640
Yeah.
And at the end of the day, they

653
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,080
are going to learn to hold
authority the way that we do,

654
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,960
right?
And if we can strike this

655
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,280
balance appropriately of
claiming it for ourselves and

656
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,040
for a family, but also staying
vulnerable, staying humble,

657
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:21,040
seeking wise counsel and the
ultimate wise counsel, then I

658
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,840
think that it's a really
valuable lesson for our whole

659
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,440
family.
Yeah, you're talking about Count

660
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,840
Dooku, right?
Maverick will be so happy I said

661
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:33,720
that on this podcast.
Oh gosh, I love that you guys

662
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,000
have Star Wars.
Me too all.

663
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:36,360
Right.
I love you, Goosey.

664
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,040
Love you, goosey.
Hey guys, if you're still here,

665
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,720
you're definitely our kind of
person.

666
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,720
Thanks for spending this time
with us on The Most Important

667
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,240
Thing.
If this episode resonated with

668
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:50,720
you, we'd love for you to follow
us wherever you get your

669
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:52,920
podcasts and share it with
someone else.

670
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,640
Building family culture on
purpose.