TMIT 46: We’re Having a Baby! Now What? (Advice to Our Younger Selves)
Nine years ago this month, we found out we were pregnant with our first child. We were thrilled, but we had absolutely no idea how much our lives—and our identities—were about to change.
Like a lot of type A couples, we prepared by debating the logistics: breastfeed or bottle feed? Nanny or daycare? We came to the table armed with books, opinions, and what we thought were "non-negotiables".
Looking back, we realize that every single one of those "non-negotiables" was actually just a disguise for fear.
In this episode, we are sharing the advice we wish we could give to our younger selves. We talk about the loneliness of being the "default" parent, why the newborn phase was also isolating for Greg, and how we eventually learned to stop debating surface-level choices and start supporting each other's underlying fears.
If you are expecting a baby, are currently in the thick of the early years, or just want to align better with your partner when making big decisions, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we discuss:
The "Non-Negotiable" Trap: Why rigid opinions are usually just a way to protect ourselves from fear.
The Research Divide: How one partner obsessively reading the baby books can actually create a lonely dynamic.
Identity Shifts: Danielle’s existential crisis of going from a Louboutin-wearing salesperson to a stay-at-home mom.
The Dad Experience: Greg’s honest admission about not feeling connected to Hunter for the first nine months, and what changed.
How to Stop Debating: The framework we use today to get aligned on family decisions without the resentment.
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