Turning Family Vacations into Family Adventures

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Welcome to The Most Important
Thing.

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I'm Danielle DeMarco Neufeld.
And I'm Greg Neufeld.

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Together, we're exploring how
ambitious busy families can

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build culture at home.
Because after all, family is the

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most important thing.
Welcome everybody.

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It is peak summertime right now,
and so we, like most families in

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North America, are getting ready
to go on a family vacation,

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which is a little scary and
exciting.

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Yeah.
When we planned this trip in

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January, it felt really
exciting.

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Oh yeah.
Best part of the trip is

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planning it right.
I think so.

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I'm looking forward to it,
right?

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But now we're, you know, getting
to the point where the rubber

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meets the road.
We leave in a couple of days and

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we are crazily adding things to
packing lists and trying to not

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overthink but make sure that we
have our creature comforts,

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right.
And one of the things that's

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come up for me lately is I
remember a friend told me when

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we first had kids, once you have
children, a vacation is not a

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vacation, it's a trip.
And I think that so far we have

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found that to be pretty true,
right?

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It's just us living our life in
a different location.

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So far.
So far, but this is our first

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opportunity, I think, to really
change that into a family

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adventure.
God willing.

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Yeah.
So we are going from Delray

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Beach, FL clear across the
country to Northwest Washington

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to Olympic National Park, Mount
Rainier and Seattle for 14 days

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across multiple Airbnb's and one
cyber truck.

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That's right.
It should be epic and well,

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let's just go with epic.
I'm going to go with Epic.

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I would say that the cyber truck
was a request from the kids, but

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it actually was a request from.
Me for sure, because I want one.

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I mean, they're so cool looking.
You either love them or hate

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them, but I think they're
awesome.

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Yeah.
Oh, it's going to be a lot of

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fun.
We booked some cool places.

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We did some research, but not
too much.

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I feel like we're throwing
ourselves into an adventure, but

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we have a plan.
And the best laid plans, you

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know, are meant to break.
But we do know that we'll be

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able to show up with some of the
things that we need to live our

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lives in a different place so
that we're not just full blown

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adventure, but not just full
blown creature comforts either.

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And I'm trying to figure out
what that balance is.

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Sure.
I feel like you've been leaning

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into the creature comfort stuff,
and I've been leaning into the

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adventure.
So really, what I want to talk

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about today is how we turn this
family vacation into something

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worth exploring.
Yeah.

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Totally.
I think it's worth noting you're

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wearing very adventuresome
colors today.

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You keep saying that I don't
know it.

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Feels vacationy and I'm wearing
my travel outfit almost like

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this is what I wear on the
plane.

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So I think that I'll represent
the the grounded creature

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comforts and if you can
represent the getting out of our

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shell adventures, sure that that
seems like the right balance.

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OK, absolutely.
I have done some homework on the

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research of how to really make
this a memorable family

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adventure as opposed to just a
trip or a vacation.

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Cool.
So shall we dig in?

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Yeah, I would love to.
OK, great.

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And then the one thing I want to
also add is that this is the

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first time any of us have been
to the Pacific Northwest.

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So that right out of the gate
feels exciting that we're kind

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of all aligned on that same
trail, exploring.

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I keep going back to the Jen
Zelman episode of Team at

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Teammates, where there's so much
in our day-to-day that we know

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so much more about than the kids
already.

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But honestly, this is going to
be the first time any of us have

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been out there.
So I'm excited about that.

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We'll be on the level playing
field.

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Yeah, me too.
It's kind of amazing how travel,

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whether it's business travel or
family travel, the less you do

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it, the more daunting it feels.
You know, I remember when we

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were raising our last funds and
I was going to New York and to

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London and different places.
And you came with me on a few of

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those trips.
Like you were like like frazzled

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over a packing list and I was
like, no big deal.

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I did this last week.
And this is kind of how it's

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feeling for me with this packing
list coming up where we haven't

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travelled in a little while.
So it's it's like extra tense.

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Yeah, we definitely haven't
travelled with the kids in a

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little while for sure.
Yes.

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But the good news is as they get
older, I feel like there's less

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to pack.
I was looking at the kids

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packing lists from a couple of
years ago and it was like

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bottles and bibs and diapers and
diaper wipes and all of.

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Them.
So now we're a little bit more

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carefree, I think, but it's more
about their comforts around

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books and stuffies and blankets.
So yeah, things are changing,

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but I do think that they're.
So actually that leans into the

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first thing that I wanted to
bring up when it comes to how to

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create a family adventure is to
Co create the trip together.

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So this goes back to the
research on self determination

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theory.
The idea being that even small

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choices like choosing what goes
in your suitcase or where you

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sit on the airplane can make
each person in the family feel

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like active participants rather
than just passengers along for

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the ride.
So I do think that already,

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because we're such planners, we
have invited the kids into the

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planning experience.
We've showed them the Airbnb's

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during family meeting the past
couple of weeks and introduced

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some of the places that we will
be going now in this last family

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meeting that we'll have tomorrow
before we head out, I think it

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would be great to come up with
some other ways that the kids

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can have choices.
Yeah, even if, is it OK if we

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just name places where they will
get to have choices where we

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don't know what those choices
look like yet?

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For example, we're going to have
a family meeting or two while

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we're there.
I didn't even think about that.

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We are indeed.
And part of those will be

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snacks.
So let's make a plan for the

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kids to be able to pick out a
snack from something that's out

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there that we don't know that
exists yet.

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Sure, whatever kind of snacks
they have in Washington state,

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we're.
Actually like we're.

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Going to Mars?
For them it.

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Is.
I mean, maybe for me too, it's a

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little.
Bit I.

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Mean yes, yes.
But but like, how do we bring,

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how do we bring some excitement
to those rituals, make them

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memorable and give them some
choices that they wouldn't

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normally have at home?
Sure.

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And one of the ideas that I
heard about is to make an

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adventure jar.
So like something that we could

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do this weekend is write down 10
simple ideas like spotting a red

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bird or finding the, the log
with the most Moss on it.

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Things like that that we can,
you know, and I like to be

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prepared.
They, you know, it.

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The worst thing that could
happen is if we prepare and then

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we never use these things from
the adventure jar because we

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don't have to.
That's great.

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I love the adventure jar.
I think that's that's awesome.

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Let's do it.
It reminds me a lot of something

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else that we're going to need to
call on, which is what do we do

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when the kids are bored?
Right.

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So when they say bored around
here, we have a bored jar.

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And so I'm thinking on the
adventure jar, is that the bored

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jar too?
Or do we have a way to combat

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those those words?
I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm

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tired.
Like, how do we play that?

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I mean, they're still going to
be our kids, they're just going

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to be in a different space.
So absolutely there will be

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periods of boredom, but I think
this is like the first step in

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Co creating this trip is really
a mindset shift to we are

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explorers, we are adventurers
and we're all in this together

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and there's going to be a lot of
things.

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There will be a lot of things
that you and I don't know.

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And so we will all be on the
same team in that regard.

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I think that this will be
helpful because a lot of times

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at home, the I'm bored is kind
of a look towards you and me to

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fill in what they should be
doing.

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But we can just very and so here
we refer them to the board jar,

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but they're like we will have,
we will be in the same position

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as they will be.
So I think this family is a

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democracy vibe that we continue
to talk about can really be

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emphasized on this trip.
OK.

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OK.
So that's the first one Co

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create the trip.
The second is root in intention.

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So this comes from positive
psychology research,

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particularly Martin Seligman's
work that emphasizes when you

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consciously set intentions, it
improves well-being, purpose and

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connection.
So the actionable step that I

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heard was to figure out a
family.

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Why?
Why are we going on this trip?

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Is it to slow down, to explore
nature, to try new things?

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And so one thing that we did as
a family earlier this week was

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we word clouded or why the new
Fetos in particular were excited

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about new beds, different
houses, different food.

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I think that I'm am pretty
excited about experiencing

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different types of nature than
we have here in Florida.

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I'm going to say some of the
things that you are excited

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about as far as our why?
Different hair and different

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scenery, like mountains.
Those two things.

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I think we're very used to the
flat and we're very used to the

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humid.
We're going to get the opposite

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of those two.
So that's really exciting for me

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to show the kids that that's
part of the country that they

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just don't experience.
But it's not, it's not something

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that they can't travel to, it's
just something that they haven't

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yet.
Yes, seeing snow is another big

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one.
I really hope that there is some

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snow on the mountains because
being Floridians now, these kids

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really want to see snow.
So if it doesn't happen this

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time, we're going to have to
make it happen on our next

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adventure, learning a new skill
together.

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That was another one that came
up.

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I think this will really be
around hiking because we've done

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some smaller hikes before as a
family, but now especially the

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kids having a lot of outdoor
time at tennis camp over the

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summer, I think that they
they've increased their stamina

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a bit and so I'm excited to
increase our hiking skills.

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Together for sure.
Bonus points if we can see the

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sunset over the ocean.
Oh, man, I don't know if that's

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going to happen.
We go to bed so early as it is,

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let alone when there's a three
hour time difference.

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But a boy can dream.
That's right.

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So we'll see.
Yeah.

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Root and intention.
And then on the trip, actually

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talking about our intentions,
like, do you remember how you

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said you wanted to learn a new
skill together?

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So maybe this is it?
Yeah, that recall is going to be

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important.
I think so already this morning.

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I don't know if you heard me in
the gym tell Jade when she was

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doing such an awesome family
workout and saw she had such

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endurance doing our during our
little squat song.

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I said, Jade, I'm going to call
on you to be the leader and when

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times get tough during our
longer hikes, I'm going to look

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to you to motivate your brother
and sister to keep going.

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Yeah, I, I heard you say that
and I watched her and I think

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she really like, grasped onto
that power.

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Let's see guys.
Who knows, We're trying.

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If anyone's going to do it, she
will.

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A lot of this is just about my
own anxiety reduction.

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I feel like if at least I if I
prepare, then I've done enough,

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right?
And then I can, I can prepare

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ahead of time and then be more
present during the trip.

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So create the trip together
roots and intention.

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And then the third one, which is
one of my favorites, is to

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embrace shared challenges.
So you know me, I love a good

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log like from any type of team
building experience.

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And so the idea here, which
comes from resilience research

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shows that overcoming manageable
stress as a family builds

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00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,560
collective coping skills.
So we're going and we've already

228
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:59,200
done this naturally, but we are
going to include a few stretch

229
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,280
activities, again being hikes
primarily, but also just long

230
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,960
days like our first day getting
out there is going to be a very

231
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long travel day, but frame it as
part of the adventure.

232
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,520
Yeah, no, I think that's that's
a brilliant way to to frame it

233
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,160
for the kids to give them kind
of like a chance to keep going,

234
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,680
like this is part of the
adventure.

235
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And we're all on the same team.
This is hard.

236
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,560
This is outside of our comfort
zone, but this is something that

237
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we are going to get through
together.

238
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,240
That's right, to embrace shared
challenges.

239
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,560
OK, so the next one is amplify
moments, and this one's my

240
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,720
favorite.
I really love this.

241
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,600
So Daniel Kahneman's research
has found something called the

242
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,040
peak end rule.
And it's the families.

243
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,960
Remember vacations based on
standout moments, peaks and how

244
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they ended.
Not every detail.

245
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,000
This feels great to me because I
cannot be on for 15 days

246
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,400
straight.
Like, there's just no way.

247
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,600
We're not going to have
meltdowns and rage and tantrums

248
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,880
and you name it, we will have
it.

249
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:03,120
But I love this idea that if we
create certain very

250
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:08,160
exhilarating, wonderful moments,
moments full of wonder, and we

251
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,240
are intentional about the way
that we end the trip, that we

252
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,840
can really capture lightning in
a ball though, if you will.

253
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,360
Yeah, I like that.
It also helps with, I'll call it

254
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,640
the FOMO, literal fear of
missing out, like on one of the

255
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,440
places that we must see if we
don't do that.

256
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,320
I remember as a kid, we went to
California and my brother and I

257
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,600
were so exhausted from the trip.
And instead of going to Hearst

258
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,920
Castle, we begged our parents to
like stay at the hotel and watch

259
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,080
movies while they went out and
did Hearst Castle.

260
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,040
And I remember having a great
time with my brother.

261
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,840
And, you know, our parents came
back and gave us such a

262
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,880
scolding, like, you know, you
really missed out.

263
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,080
It was so great and this and
that.

264
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,680
I was like, I don't know, 7th
grade, 8th grade, something like

265
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,280
that.
I didn't care, you know, so I, I

266
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,840
think about that as an adult now
as a parent, like what happens

267
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,840
if our kids don't want to go to
one of the places that we, that

268
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,720
is on our hit list that like we
have to see.

269
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,320
And So what you just said is a
really helpful reframe, which is

270
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,880
it's not about hitting
everything.

271
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,600
It's about the peaks and it's
about how you end it.

272
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,200
So we want to make sure that
we're aligned on what we do and

273
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,080
not that we're dragging kids
kicking and screaming to

274
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,640
something that they don't want
to do on Day 8 after they've

275
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,360
been hiking, you know, seven
days in a row.

276
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,400
That's such a great point.
I love that.

277
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,200
That's very freeing, I feel.
And also just to add 1 of my

278
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,560
favorites.
So my parents and I, and because

279
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,800
I was an only child, we often
brought a friend with us.

280
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,120
So we went on a ski vacation
when I was in middle school and

281
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,760
one of my friends had moved to
California.

282
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,320
So she met us in Utah.
And I remember we were supposed

283
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,600
to go to this really fancy
famous restaurant for dinner,

284
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,840
but my friend and I, we really
just didn't feel like it.

285
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,960
And so we stayed home.
And that was the night that this

286
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,480
movie together was on TV for the
first time ever.

287
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,920
About the like mock together.
Exactly.

288
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,320
And it just was, I mean that
movie was for the next like 3

289
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,280
years, the thing that we did
like that was just such an

290
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,760
important pivotal time that I
remember that we stayed home, we

291
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,400
watched that movie and there is
no restaurant in the world that

292
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,840
could have been better than that
memory which gave us fun for

293
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,520
years to come.
I love that.

294
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:06,920
So sometimes it's like, you know
what?

295
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,840
We can watch a movie in Utah.
We can watch a movie in

296
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,120
Washington.
We can.

297
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,800
I mean, we're going to have to
have some rest days.

298
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,200
These kids can't go, go, go.
Ours are not.

299
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,920
I mean, you and I are not energy
machines like that, and neither

300
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,240
are they.
No, that's right.

301
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,440
Yeah, but so I really like this
idea of peaks and ends.

302
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,480
So, you know, it says plan at
least one Wow experience, which,

303
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,680
you know, maybe it'll be sunset
over the ocean and that'll be

304
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,880
like a stretch plus Wow.
And maybe make it a surprise.

305
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,520
Some of you, maybe you have
children that do better with

306
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,840
surprises than ours.
It's probably not a surprise

307
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:43,000
that for me and Craig, our kids
don't like surprises so much We

308
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,440
haven't trained them to.
But then when it comes to

309
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,960
ending, a couple of ideas here
are to create a closing ritual

310
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,160
or reflection.
So like on the last night, have

311
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,960
a celebratory meal or like some
type of special family moment

312
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,040
and then make the journey home
part of the ending.

313
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,120
So instead of the post trip let
down, 1 tip that I actually

314
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,600
heard from Arthur Brooks's
Atlantic article on a similar

315
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,360
topic is to come back on
Saturday as opposed to Sunday to

316
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,360
kind of extend the ending, which
is something that we're doing.

317
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,000
But regardless, the transition,
make it fun.

318
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,800
So maybe have like a favorite
car playlist for the car ride

319
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:24,320
home or give away trip awards
like silly trip awards at the

320
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,560
end of the at the end of the
experience.

321
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,520
Yeah, let's roll right into
picking out the photos from the

322
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,200
trip, you know?
Yes, absolutely.

323
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,520
And then this other idea is to
celebrate the return.

324
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,680
So on the way home, what's one
thing that you're excited about

325
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,560
to come home to?
Yeah, kind of easing that

326
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,080
transition.
But the peak end combo that's

327
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,920
not just for family vacations,
that's across any type of

328
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,200
memorable experience.
And I think it's a really good

329
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,320
one to remember.
It is.

330
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,400
Yes, some of the best
conferences I've been to, I've

331
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,520
followed that where it's like
there's like some kind of

332
00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:02,320
memorable just like scenery or
change in change in setting for

333
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,080
the last night that really helps
ground everybody into like this

334
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,880
was special and we're leaving
tomorrow.

335
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,000
But this was really.
Special.

336
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,400
I love that yeah.
I also think about kind of like

337
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,640
staycations, right?
So sometimes over the holidays

338
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,120
we don't go anywhere.
Oh yeah, Can be another great

339
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,800
way of kind of encapsulating,
having a couple peaks, obviously

340
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,280
on the holidays itself, but you
know, maybe going to see

341
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,480
Christmas lights at Disney World
or something like that for us.

342
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,120
But then making the end of
vacation before we start school

343
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,960
again in January special and
encapsulating like a ritual.

344
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,080
If you can't beat them, join
them.

345
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,320
Let's just shoot off some
fireworks.

346
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,320
Oh my gosh, fireworks are the
bane of my existence. 1 I don't

347
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,160
stay up late.
Two, our dog is absolutely

348
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,480
petrified of them.
It's a mess.

349
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,880
I want to go to a different
country on the 4th of July.

350
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,800
That doesn't sound very
patriotic, but it's true.

351
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,360
Especially because we live in
Florida and there are, well,

352
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,200
fireworks on every corner.
I mean these people.

353
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,000
Land of the Free.
That's right.

354
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,080
That's I love living in Florida
for a lot of our freedoms and

355
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,520
then sometimes their freedoms
are too free for me.

356
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,920
Your freedom is encroaching on
my.

357
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,280
Freedom exactly.
NIMBY.

358
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,920
OK, so the next one is tell the
story.

359
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,520
So as we know from our second
episode on Family Stories,

360
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,119
Marshall Duke and Robin Feibush
have done a lot of research

361
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,480
where they show that telling
stories about shared experiences

362
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:24,640
builds meaning and family
cohesion.

363
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,560
Family cohesion, Ding, Ding,
Ding thing we're always looking

364
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,160
for, right?
And so the actionable step here

365
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,200
is to create a way to document
shared memories and be

366
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,720
intentional about it before you
get there.

367
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,240
And so this can be anything from
a family shared album to

368
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,000
recording short audio clips of
the kids describing their

369
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,680
favorite moments.
And then you can turn them into

370
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:48,800
like a trip video log or podcast
or even doing just like a family

371
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,160
story night that you record
where you someone tells the

372
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,520
story of the day in three
sentences, something like that.

373
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,800
So from a family documentation
perspective, I think we should

374
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,560
print out photos and make a trip
scrapbook.

375
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,040
I think that.
Let the kids.

376
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,600
Yeah, that's what I mean, let
the kids do it.

377
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,960
I don't want to do what my
parents did, which was make it

378
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,280
and like, you know, just put it
on the shelf.

379
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,640
I want the kids to make it, pick
out the photos, etcetera.

380
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,120
But along the journey, I think
it's an opportunity to, if we

381
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,240
like the trip, put together
something at the end.

382
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,640
So some short videos that
document the trip itself because

383
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,160
it could be a great route for
other families.

384
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,920
And Hunter and Jade especially
can be in the lead of telling

385
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,280
that story to other kids as to
why they enjoyed the trip.

386
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,320
And it's something that they can
do to kind of get back to give,

387
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,200
to let pay it forward if you
will.

388
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,880
It's not giving back, but it's
paying it forward.

389
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,680
Sure.
It's that also helps to solidify

390
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,680
memory, the memories of the
trip.

391
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,800
And it's that metacognition,
that reflection kind of going a

392
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,280
higher order and thinking about,
I think it to me, it's really

393
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,800
aligned with gratitude in
thinking about not only did we

394
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,880
do this, but we got to do this
right because this is something

395
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,680
that we budgeted for, that we
are really intentional in

396
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,160
planning about.
This is a big deal for our

397
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,040
family, both from a time
standpoint, from a money

398
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,080
standpoint, and from an
adventure standpoint.

399
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,040
And I think there's got to be
something to narration and

400
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:11,000
solidifying the memory even more
than just passive documentation.

401
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,080
I think it's the story making of
it, all right?

402
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,320
It's the story making of it all.
And you're starting to touch on

403
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,040
my last one, which is extended
home.

404
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,000
So going back to Martin
Sullivan's work, he suggests

405
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,200
that recalling and savoring
positive experiences boosts

406
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,160
happiness and resilience.
So definitely create something

407
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,560
physical out of the memories
that you encapsulate and that

408
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,720
you memorialize along the trip.
And then it, I think that one's

409
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,560
pretty obvious.
The other one that I heard is

410
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,520
bring trip themes into the home
life.

411
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,840
So if there was a great meal
that you had in the Pacific

412
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,080
Northwest, can you recreate it
at home?

413
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,000
Or if you connected through
nature, can we start doing some

414
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,000
more family weekend hikes around
here?

415
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,360
So taking elements of things
that really bonded us as a

416
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,560
family on the vacation and
sprinkling it in here at home.

417
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,720
Cool.
Yeah, I think, I think that's

418
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,160
great.
OK, so I came up with a mnemonic

419
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,760
for a Yeah, if I may.
So the mnemonic is create C Co,

420
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:09,160
create the trip, R root in
intention, E embrace shared

421
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:15,600
challenges, A amplify moments, T
tell the story and E extended

422
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,800
home create your own adventure.
Beautiful.

423
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,920
Thank you.
This is great.

424
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,840
I'm excited even more for our
trip now.

425
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,680
OK, good.
I'm really glad.

426
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,360
So as far as shareable
experiments, yeah.

427
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,120
So if you're going on a trip
soon, maybe you can pick a peak

428
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,960
moment or come up with an ending
ritual that can really change

429
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,800
the way that the entire family
sees the trip for years to come.

430
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,760
Love it.
It'd be cool if there's

431
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,680
something that we can notice
along the way that might be

432
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,800
replicable on other trips as
well.

433
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,760
So that we make a build a habit
of when we go on a trip, we look

434
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,040
for the fill in the blank.
We look for that beach to write

435
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,200
our name in the sand and take a
photo.

436
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,080
Of cool.
I love that idea something.

437
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,400
Could we also get a souvenir?
Sure, we can go snow globes.

438
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,400
OK, no snow globes, maybe a
coffee mug or even like an

439
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,000
espresso something.
But it would be really great

440
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,880
because it really does.
We've taken some little trips.

441
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,600
We actually did a great before
we started this podcast, we

442
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:16,280
spent the first four months of
the year going on family

443
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,720
adventures every weekend, which
I thought was very cool.

444
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,280
And we explored most of Florida.
So we did put in some reps.

445
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,960
Yeah, we've done.
Lots of adventures leading up to

446
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,120
this.
This has been the year of

447
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,240
adventure and this is, I don't
want to say this the end of it,

448
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,800
but this is definitely what we
building up, we've been

449
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,360
building.
Up to this is our Everest for

450
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,280
sure, or at least our
Kilimanjaro, right.

451
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:41,520
I mean for 2025, yes, that too,
yeah.

452
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,240
So did you want to talk a little
bit about creature comforts and

453
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,120
some ideas to?
Well, the first creature.

454
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,360
Comforts balance with adventure.
The first creature comfort that

455
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,840
came out of your brain, not
mine, was to get Hunter a

456
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,680
Kindle, so I thought that was
freaking brilliant.

457
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,200
Thank you.
Our daughter goes through about

458
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,320
15 chapter books a week.
That's not.

459
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,520
That's not a humble brag, that's
just her.

460
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,120
Who knows how much how much
she's really reading though.

461
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,880
I ask ChatGPT to ask her reading
comprehension questions these

462
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,160
days.
She does great.

463
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,440
Yeah no I think I think she's
getting it.

464
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,680
But she really does love to read
and there is just no way that we

465
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,520
could pack enough chapter books
for her.

466
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,080
Well, so the so the Kindle I
think is a is a huge one.

467
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,680
The other one that I would like
to suggest along the same lines

468
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,200
is because Maverick is reading a
lot of book books, I'm taking

469
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,840
all of the magazines, all of the
kids magazines, the highlights,

470
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,200
the National Geographics that he
does not read.

471
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,280
And those are what we're
bringing on the trip because who

472
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,200
cares if they get lost and they
take up way less space than his

473
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,840
monster truck books.
Very smart.

474
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,840
So the creature, another
creature comfort tip that we've

475
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,480
been kind of working on and
building up to is this idea that

476
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,440
we have really drop shipping to
anywhere in the world and most

477
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,120
of the audience does through
memberships to Amazon and

478
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,080
Walmart etcetera.
And so when we show up in

479
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,840
Washington, we're going to be
picking up a bunch of things

480
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,640
that we order through Amazon at
a Whole Foods along with our

481
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,080
groceries that we will
pre-order.

482
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,680
In Amazon Locker.
So to speak.

483
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,920
Yeah, so there's Amazon lockers
all over the country.

484
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,240
This one happens to be a you
know what pick up counter at

485
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,360
Whole Foods, but use the supply
chain to your advantage.

486
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:16,200
And honestly, like I think if we
can save one bag and not have to

487
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,760
pack all of these accoutrements
that maybe we don't use all of

488
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,560
them, but we're going to use 50
percent, 60%, we just kind of

489
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,680
leave them.
That's going to be work out to

490
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,480
be net net better from a cost
perspective in terms of bag fees

491
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,160
and then just in terms of having
a lighter load along the way.

492
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,960
So like I think that that's the
way to go.

493
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,560
We're also packing a couple of
our cooking utensils like things

494
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:43,480
that we really would need to
make the meals that we make.

495
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,760
So very simple things like meat
thermometer.

496
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,040
How you know how many Airbnb's
are going to have meat

497
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,960
thermometer, much less a good
one.

498
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,840
So bringing that bringing.
I'm sorry I got really excited.

499
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,240
Blackout curtains.
So even though we did ask all of

500
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,960
the Airbnb's if they have
blackout curtains, we still

501
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:03,840
travel with one to two suction
cup blackout curtains everywhere

502
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,000
we go because we find it makes a
really big difference for our

503
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,600
kids sleep.
Yeah, they're pretty popular.

504
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,520
I get pushed these on Instagram
all day now.

505
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:15,880
Like it the the travel blackout
curtains are huge, but then you

506
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,880
know grocery delivery planning
that in advance, even things

507
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,960
like shipping.
I've thought about this.

508
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:27,000
We might do a shipping meat and
steaks and things to one of the.

509
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,960
Urban bees family.
Just because like, I don't know

510
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,400
what I'm going to be able to
procure in Port Angeles, WA, but

511
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,040
I do know that the place that I
get meat from ships to 50

512
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,120
states.
So like maybe I'll do that, but

513
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:42,680
those are some ideas.
But I think that the, the, the

514
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,800
big one that we have every time
we travel these days is just to

515
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,480
rent our car or similar just
because like we know that the

516
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,040
car seats are going to work.
We know that, you know that,

517
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,480
that we know how it drives.
Like we, we, there's just no

518
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,000
guessing.
And so we're doing this time

519
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,200
it's a cyber truck, but, you
know, substantially similar to

520
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,000
the car that we drive.
That sounds weird.

521
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,320
We have a Model X because there
are too many cars that are

522
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,000
substantially similar to a cyber
truck.

523
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:07,000
But.
I hear what?

524
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,040
You're saying?
One thing I'm experimenting with

525
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,240
is a travel router so that we
every time we switch Airbnb's,

526
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,520
we don't have to type in the
wireless password to the network

527
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,000
a million times to all our
different things.

528
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,360
They'll all be connected.
And then the other thing I'm

529
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:22,840
experimenting with on this trip
in particular is a very large,

530
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,960
but manageable camping backpack
because we're hiking backpack

531
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,000
because fitting all the
families, day food, waters,

532
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,720
everything in one bag.
I think it's going to be

533
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,600
extremely necessary.
And we're, we're trying to limit

534
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,400
the amount of gear that we bring
on these hikes, but we do need

535
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,440
to make sure that we have
everything for the day.

536
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,000
And so having one pack that I
can carry and you know, that has

537
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:49,560
like a couple of these camelback
100 litre water dispensers like

538
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,520
will be, should be perfect for,
for our family needs.

539
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,960
So experimenting with that.
So that's how we bring the

540
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,560
creature comfort to the
vacation.

541
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,200
Yeah, and the one thing I really
care about is our kids have very

542
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,680
sensitive skin and they're used
to very clean detergent.

543
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,800
So I have found detergent pods
that are super clean that I'm

544
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,960
bringing because most of these
Airbnb's do not have things that

545
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,760
will work for their skin.
Yeah, it's a great call.

546
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,760
It's a great call.
And I think the Airbnb's in

547
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,520
particular we found we're just
an Airbnb family at the end of

548
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,240
the day.
We really want everyone to have

549
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,400
their own room or for at least
us and the kids to have the

550
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,560
separate rooms and.
People don't have, everybody

551
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,320
doesn't have their own room, but
we need the space.

552
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,240
That's like a it's an intimacy
thing, so.

553
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,360
We're, we're big on cooking, you
know, we, we go to bed early.

554
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:33,920
We're all all these reasons.
And, and it's kind of a great

555
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,520
way to see different parts of
the country through just like

556
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,320
unique houses.
Yeah.

557
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,120
One thing we need to add to the
Amazon list is sidewalk talk,

558
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,800
because that's the thing the
kids love to run outside at

559
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,600
Airbnb is and use sidewalk talk.
That's right.

560
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,800
OK.
Cool, cool.

561
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,640
So that's it.
No, that's it.

562
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,120
We covered it.
OK great, well the next time we

563
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,680
talk to you all we will be back
with from our adventure and we

564
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,560
will post along the way.
Yeah, maybe we'll have a video

565
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,080
of the journey.
And yeah, we'll let you know how

566
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,960
we extended it home for sure.
And any other tips that we

567
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,160
learn.
Yeah.

568
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,720
And just like anything else, you
know, I'm sure that some of the

569
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,400
stuff will come to fruition, but
most of it, you know, we'll just

570
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,320
be nice that I planned.
Yeah, exactly.

571
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,480
Yep.
So hope that everyone has a

572
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,280
great the August vacation.
We'll be posting some stuff

573
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,040
along the way and we'll see you
soon.

574
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,200
Love you goosy.
Love you goosy.

575
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,520
Hey guys, if you're still here,
you're definitely our kind of

576
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,720
person.
Thanks for spending this time

577
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,320
with us on The Most Important
Thing.

578
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,240
If this episode resonated with
you, we'd love for you to follow

579
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,600
us wherever you get your
podcasts and share it with

580
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,360
someone else.
Building family culture on

581
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:41,920
purpose.