TMIT 54: The Truth About Lying
Summer was awesome, school is back in session, and so is TMIT! This week, we’re tackling something that’s been gnawing at our family: lying.
Our four-year-old’s casual untruths (like claiming he brushed his teeth when he didn't, or faking an injury to score Tylenol) are testing us, to say the least. For a truth-seeker like Danielle, catching a kid in a lie feels like our connection is crumbling. But we are also realizing that projecting adult relationship stakes onto a kindergartener is a recipe for failure. Instead of shutting him down harshly, we are learning to bob and weave, and hopefully build culture along the way.
In TMIT 54, we discuss how to align as parents against the behavior while remaining unequivocally on our kids' team. Greg also shares some of his own teenage cover-ups that highlight just how far adolescents will go to avoid a storm.
Through our conversation, we landed on three new ground rules for our family:
- No difficult conversations when the sun isn’t out: We’ve used this rule in our marriage for years, but now we’re extending it to the kids. Greg firmly believes that giving a kid time to process solo leads to less defensiveness and more honest conversations in the morning.
- Pa Washington’s Motto: Taking a cue from the famous cherry tree story, we want to remind our kids that we would rather they make a dozen huge mistakes than tell a single lie. We keep telling our kids they can tell us anything, and we’ll figure it out together as a team.
- Share our own less-than-honorable stories: As we covered in TMIT 02: Family Stories, telling kids about our own adolescent mistakes and mishaps might just be the best way to show them we are a safe space for their imperfections.
We used to hate the Summer House shirt, “Boys lie, Men don’t,” but now we’re starting to get it!
Listen to TMIT 54 wherever you get your podcasts.
Resources Mentioned:
- TMIT 02: Family Stories
- Next Gen NYC (Bravo)
- KitchenAid Fully Automatic Espresso Machine KF2
