TMIT 33: Our Biggest Takeaways from Six Months of Building Family Culture

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This family culture thing has me
shopping at Marshalls.

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It's pretty bad.
And now you have a Do you have a

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Nautica?
It's a Nautica shirt from

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Marshalls I've literally got
back.

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Your mother would be so proud.
She would.

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Welcome to the most important
thing.

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I'm Danielle.
And I'm Greg, and together we're

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exploring TJX and why I'm
shopping at Marshalls again.

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And.
And family, culture and

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leadership at home.
All right, yay.

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So happy to be here with you.
I was a Max anista before

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anybody.
That's amazing.

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I was more of a limited 2 girl.
Well, as we explore family

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culture, we are also exploring
outfits to wear on this podcast.

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That don't break the bank.
That don't exactly.

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Anyway, OK, so.
Taking us in.

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Yeah.
Well, this week marks six months

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since we started the most
important thing, which is really

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our exploration of family,
culture and leadership, right.

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And so we thought it would make
sense this week to take pause,

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go back to base camp, if you
will, and think about not

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necessarily the what we've
learned, but the house that we

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can apply to creating family
culture at home.

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And and what are the most
important takeaways that we've

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learned so far?
30 plus episodes in a half dozen

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conversations, another dozen
books, and plenty of experiments

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along the way.
Yes, but first a a quick why I

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think as to just to reiterate, a
friend said to me, you know, hi,

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it was so weird.
I was, I was, I came home for

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lunch and I walked into my house
and I hear this man's voice

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coming out of out of our
bedroom.

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And I walk in there and I'm
like, that's Greg's voice.

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I thought that was the funniest
thing.

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Obviously his wife is listening
to Team It and is a Team it fan

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and shout out to them.
But one thing that he said to me

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really stuck with me and that
was, you know, you guys are

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doing this and it's because you
have this great family and you

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have all the answers.
And I was like.

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Quite the opposite.
Nothing could be further from

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the truth.
We have very few answers.

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We only have the answers that
we've lived so far and

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everything that we haven't
lived, we'd like to explore in

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public.
We'd like to explore with others

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and part of this journey is to
build community around that

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exploration, not preaching as to
what we think is best practice.

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Yeah, journeying together, I
think that we've this is and

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this idea of family culture is
something that we've had for a

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long time, really since we've
gotten married.

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But it's been in fits and starts
that we have applied ourselves

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to it.
And now for the past six months

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and hopefully for many years to
come, we have kind of made this

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put the stake in the ground and
say no, this is an effort that

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we believe is worth dedicating
ourselves to.

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Yes.
So this six month interval feels

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like a pretty good time to check
in and take stock and take

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inventory of what we've learned.
And really for those of you out

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there that have been following
us along, you know the entire

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journey and those of you that
are just joining us today share

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what the first six months of
Team IT have meant to us and

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what those lessons that really
stuck and really have landed.

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Are yes, absolutely.
So we have 4 big takeaways that

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we'd like to share with you
today.

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And this isn't about how family
meetings or family movement

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changed our life, but really
what are the overarching themes

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that we've discovered in these
past six months?

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And so take away #4 is that
family culture is built from a

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place of strength, not scarcity.
And this is the idea that we

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really explored in episode 27,
parenting gurus in the business

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of anxiety.
But it's our first one because

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it is such an important
foundation that is different

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than what's in the zeitgeist,
right?

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So much of what is out there
around parenting in particular,

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is around.
This is hard.

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We're under a quipped and we
have to.

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And that is a message that
doesn't resonate with us.

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And we want to illuminate a
different way and to say that no

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family culture is something that
we can build from a place of

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confidence, from a place of
competence, and really highlight

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the things that we're already
doing every day and lean into

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what's working.
As opposed to this message that

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comes from a place of deficit or
heaven forbid, existentialism.

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Such as, like, if I don't do XY
and Z, my children are going to

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end up on antidepressants with
terrible anxiety.

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Fill in the blank, right?
So really this is kind of our

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movement, if you will, to bring
back parenting and family

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culture because we get to.
Yeah, I'd say that's the the

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foundation of it all is we need
to build from a place of

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competence.
We need to build from a place of

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togetherness and that we believe
that we can do it because belief

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comes before ability.
Yes, absolutely.

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And I would also say this is a
commitment that Greg and I have

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made to all of you is to not
rely on quick fixes or hooks and

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cheap tactics to hook you in and
make you want to listen.

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Like I, I want to make sure that
we are doing our part to have

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this through line, that nothing
has to be wrong in order for you

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to lean in.
This isn't another landmine that

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you need to figure out how to
uncouple, right?

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This is an opportunity.
And these are small nudges that

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hopefully have outsized impact,
which I think we've found in our

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own life.
And the feedback thus far has

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indicated that we can just spend
some time being intentional,

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leaning into what's already
working and have a wonderful

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time doing it.
Yep.

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Amen to that.
Yeah.

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So that's number four.
So that's number four.

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Number 3 is very much building
on #4 which is that parenting is

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management and family culture is
leadership.

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So I was thinking about this and
we were talking about it a

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little bit the other day, where
most parenting advice is

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targeted at one person.
It's not targeted at the family.

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It's targeted at the person that
is managing the children and

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that management of the children
requires A1 buy in.

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It's really just like, oh, this
is the script that I will use to

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get my children to comply, to
stop doing the thing that I

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don't want them to do.
Whereas family culture, the

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whole family needs to be bought
in.

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And it starts from the top for
sure.

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But it's not just about one
person.

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It's not just about yeah and
like.

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One script to 1.
Child, right.

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And, and for those of you out
there, if you're listening,

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hopefully you're sharing this
with your partner and saying,

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hey, this is a philosophy that I
think you could really get down

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with.
It's not about how we manage our

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kids.
It's about how we lead our

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family.
And I love that.

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I mean, like, I'm obsessed with
this idea of family as a team.

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And that's really what this
comes down to.

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We need leaders on the team.
And it's not always going to be

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the parents.
Oftentimes our kids are setting

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more examples for one another
than we are.

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So what are we going to do?
Have a script for every time

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that a kid goes off the tracks
and every time a kid copies

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another kid going off the
tracks?

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And it's it's why building from
a place of competence is so

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important in family leadership,
because if we all as a family

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believe that we are a team and
that we have the ability to get

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through anything together, then
we will.

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If we don't believe that we're
really going to run into a lot

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of issues and trouble.
So I think that coming from

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this, this foundation of we can
and we get to really rubs off on

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the kids.
It becomes like the energy is

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pervasive in through the entire
family, where if one of our kids

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is having a problem, the other
two are very quick to come to

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their rescue as opposed to
drumming up their own reasons

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why they need attention.
Sure.

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Yeah.
And I love this idea that we've

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really touched upon in some of
our more recent episodes around

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the culture of growth, cultures
of growth in episodes 29 and 30,

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because it's not just a one to
one relationship.

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It is as a leader of my family,
I really have an opportunity to

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set the mindset culture, right?
And so for me, having grown up

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career wise in a very strong
culture, that is truly what I

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want to set for our family.
I don't want to just be 5 beings

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who cohabitate.
I think that it is so much, I

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feel so much more aligned with
you and with the kids now that

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we've made so many of our values
explicit.

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And I think that that is really
this distinction between

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parenting and family leadership.
So we certainly in episode 25,

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Culture Eats Parenting for
Breakfast, we go into this

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distinction further, But the
idea of aligning the choices

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that we make, like the way that
we're going to spend

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Thanksgiving this year focused
on service opportunities or the

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fact that we called our family
vacation an adventure because we

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want the vibe to be about
alignment and exploration and

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curiosity.
These are the things that really

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differentiate from focusing on
tantrums and bedtime habits and

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potty training.
No doubt.

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And it's contagious.
Culture is contagious.

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I kind of think less of
parenting, if you will, in

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general than I did six months
ago because it's really about

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the family.
It's, it's us as leaders.

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We, we can scope it out.
We can frame it out if you will.

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But if we're not explaining the
meaning, if we're not embodying,

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like going back to our episode 3
family values, like if we're not

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actually embodying the values
and making them real, there's no

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way that that it's going to be
internalized by our children.

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Absolutely right.
Absolutely right.

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You know, Bill Campbell, the
infamous Silicon Valley CEO

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coach, says your title makes you
a manager, your people make you

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a leader.
And that's truly what this is

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about.
It's like we have to lead in our

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families and through our
families, not just through, you

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know, scripts and management of
the of the issues that come

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about.
Yeah, we're seeing our job as

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mom and dad and solely mom and
dad instead of leaders of a unit

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that can learn and grow
together.

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Yeah, it's so true.
I mean, we even saw this with

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our interview with Cliff, you
know?

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Episode 32.
Episode 32 where we saw how his

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family modelled the leadership
of showing up for one another.

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This vision of the Weitzman's at
the Thanksgiving table, working

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on everyone's college essays
before they were due as a

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family, I mean, it's
unbelievable.

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I've I've never heard of that in
my life.

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Yeah, but we're totally going to
do that and.

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Absolutely.
What else can we do that with?

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You know, So what can we do that
with sooner?

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Really?
It's like it was so

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inspirational to hear that and
also to hear about how as the

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five kids and the two parents,
so seven members of of the

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Weitzman family that they
understand one another's

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superpowers and that it's not,
you know, especially now that

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they're all in their 20s and
30s.

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Mom and dad don't always lead
the charge on everything, right?

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And so it truly embodies this
idea of family as a team that I

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think starts when they're young
it.

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Really does.
It really does.

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So, so take away #3 again,
parenting is management and

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family culture is leadership.
And we're here to lead, and we

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are here.
To lead, yeah.

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Yeah, OK, great.
So how do we lead?

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Right.
So if if takeaways four and

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three, we're really about how we
want to show up and what mindset

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we want to have as leaders.
Take away #2 is the action.

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And so this is the idea that
rituals are culture in action.

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So I really think about, you
know, anything that we do

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repeatedly in our family becomes
a ritual.

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To me.
There are two types of rituals

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when it comes to family culture.
1 is what I'll call necessary

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evil, not because it's bad, but
because it's the type of thing

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that we don't necessarily, it
doesn't bring excitement to do

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like a quarterly investment
meeting, say, or the weekly

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problem solve that we have at
our family meeting.

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These are the things that you
know, they're, they can be

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difficult conversations, but
they bring alignment and trust

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and safety to the team.
So that is really to me that is

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such an important foundation is
that we just had our quarterly

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investment conversation right
And it was a lot of it was

230
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,440
asynchronous.
But knowing that we are now on

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00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,200
the same page, especially going
into the holidays, right and

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00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,480
what our investment outlook
looks like both, both on what

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00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,920
we're going to spend and how
we're going to how we're going

234
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:04,080
to achieve feels so good.
So good to be on the same page.

235
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I.
Mean I, I almost wish it came up

236
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,240
more frequently than quarterly,
but it's not the right

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container.
The only issue with quarterly is

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that getting started is like a
little bit of a slow start

239
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because there's, there's such a
time lapse between 1/4 to the

240
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,720
other.
But once I get started on that

241
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,480
initial first pass, I'm like, Oh
yeah.

242
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,080
We got this.
We feel so good.

243
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,160
And I would say the same thing
about our quarterly goals

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00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,200
meeting.
We we kicked it by a week

245
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,280
because it was a little bit of a
busy time, but we ended up

246
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,600
reeling it back in and I think
it was only two days later than

247
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we had scheduled it because we
felt a bit unmoored.

248
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,080
Right.
Like, without the that goal

249
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,600
alignment conversation.
And I also see that with the

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00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,880
kids, you know, like Jade this
week was the one that suggested

251
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,600
the problem solved, she said.
Oh, it was.

252
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,120
Hunter really wants to talk to
Maverick about how stop means

253
00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:00,680
stop, and it's like they know
that this is an opportunity on

254
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,720
Sundays to have this
conversation.

255
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,640
It's amazing that container is
amazing to see them, to see them

256
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:12,200
show up with suggestions ready
for it and like not trying to

257
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,680
make it about them or about, you
know, a situation.

258
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,800
Well, they do.
That too, but.

259
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,880
Well, yeah, anyway.
OK.

260
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,720
And then so that's what I'll
call the necessary evil rituals.

261
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And then there are those that
bring excitement.

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00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,880
So for us, since starting this
journey, it is the family

263
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learning and family meeting, and
it's also what we do on Friday

264
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,240
evenings.
So in a continuation of our

265
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,760
popsicle ritual, we've now,
since the weather has turned a

266
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:43,880
bit here in Florida, we've now
started having popsicles by

267
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candlelight.
And everyone kind of takes turns

268
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,600
reflecting on their week.
And each of us, after we go, we

269
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,640
blow out the candle that's
sitting in front of us.

270
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,440
So it's just a nice little
Neufeld quirk drawing upon so

271
00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,040
many traditions, right?
So many the shoulders of giants,

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00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,520
if you will, that stand before
us.

273
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But this is 1 the kids look
forward to.

274
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,000
I mean, already Maverick has
asked me on a Monday morning,

275
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,560
when are we going to have
popsicles, right?

276
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,920
And part of it is the popsicle,
but the other part is, I mean,

277
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,600
that's that's one where both
Maverick and Jade vie to go

278
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,560
first, right?
Because they're excited about

279
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,880
it.
And so I think whatever your

280
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:24,320
rituals may be, just having
those that are that bring trust

281
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,080
and alignment and then those
that bring excitement and

282
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,880
connection really are ways to
build culture.

283
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,000
So rituals are culture in
action.

284
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,760
They are, they are.
And then our final take away.

285
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:42,560
So #1 and I think this one shows
up for me in so many ways.

286
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:47,200
It's one of the hardest things
for me to be is just be present.

287
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:52,360
But family culture has really
gotten me there and gotten me to

288
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,000
realize that the reward of
family culture is the present

289
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,320
moment, not just for me, but for
this entire family as we are

290
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,040
spending it in that moment
together as a team.

291
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:12,000
So when I first jumped into the
most important thing with you, I

292
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,680
would have said that we are
exploring family culture for a

293
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:21,400
future state, for what our
children can be and how they're

294
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,400
going to raise their kids and
how we're going to be involved

295
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,000
as grandparents and all of these
great things ahead of us.

296
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,840
Yeah, And when we started
exploring this, this was

297
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,400
actually the question that most
of our friends wanted answered

298
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,480
as well, which is, you know,
what do you hope that your kids

299
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:39,040
take away from your family
culture, kind of the the

300
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,960
Parenthood TV show, if you will,
of it.

301
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,360
All right.
The four grown kids still

302
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:47,960
stopping by, Mom and dad's
having dinner together every

303
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,960
week.
That was definitely what I was

304
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,500
after as well.
And so I think that this take

305
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:57,760
away is actually the most
surprising of them all for us.

306
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,800
It is, But the reward is not a
future state.

307
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,680
The reward is the present
moment.

308
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,240
It is the little things, day in,
day out, that work so much

309
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:12,280
better and more smoothly, not to
take burden off of us, but to

310
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:17,080
give us joy and all of the
connection that we otherwise

311
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,600
might miss.
So this morning I was listening

312
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,800
to David Senra on Tim Ferriss
and he had this great quote.

313
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:28,120
I don't know who it's from, but
he said that life is a happy

314
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:32,240
life, is essentially a series of
happy days strung together.

315
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,560
And I was like, yes, David,
like, this is exactly what we're

316
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,800
finding too, which is that like,
this is the time.

317
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,640
These are the moments.
It's not some future state

318
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,760
because who knows what tomorrow
will bring.

319
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:50,120
Yeah, that's exactly right.
And, you know, I had reflected

320
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,520
on my parents not being around
for this time of my life, of our

321
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,600
lives, of meeting the children
and spending time with them.

322
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:04,360
And I wrote a post on LinkedIn
and Facebook talking about this

323
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,040
idea that, you know, they had
missed the best parts.

324
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,760
And I got a note from a family
friend who I hadn't seen in a

325
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,160
very long time but who knew me
very well when we were growing

326
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,200
up.
And he said, you know, I watched

327
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,120
your parents during those years
when they were raising you and

328
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,800
your brother.
And I have to say they did not

329
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,280
miss the best parts.
The best parts is when they were

330
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,280
raising you when you were
little, they loved every moment

331
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,760
of it.
They lived for it.

332
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,560
And that was what they were
there for.

333
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:44,120
And that was a great reframe.
I mean, I still selfishly would

334
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:49,080
love for them to be around and
do feel like seeing my adult

335
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:53,960
self and what I've achieved and
all of these things, you know,

336
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,520
but the part of that's the ego
talking.

337
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:03,160
Whereas for me, like I just want
for my kids, for our kids to be

338
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,960
happy and to, you know, to
strive to achieve their

339
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:12,360
potential.
I don't really care what that

340
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:17,000
means in the future.
And so the present moment and.

341
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,800
The present state being the
reward, not any future state

342
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,680
really does resonate.
I get it.

343
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,440
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I I agree.

344
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,200
I mean, on the one hand, I think
there are no guarantees in this

345
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,080
life, right?
Your parents are not here with

346
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,040
us.
We, we're trying to stay

347
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,280
healthy, but who knows if we'll
get to that future parenthood

348
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,000
state, if you will.
But I also know and I, I really

349
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,880
truly feel in my heart that life
is about climbing your own

350
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:52,480
mountains and that this will
always be the base camp for our

351
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,840
family.
But as our children grow, I

352
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,800
really do want them to
individuate.

353
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,400
And that probably doesn't mean
coming home for dinner every

354
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,400
Sunday afternoon, right?
Like, I want to make sure that

355
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,680
we give them a solid foundation,
but this isn't the time.

356
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,080
I don't think we're going to be
building family culture with

357
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,160
Hunter Jaden Maverick in 20
years.

358
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,640
This present moment is when we
build the joy, the connection,

359
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,080
the belonging that sticks with
them from year for years to

360
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,520
come.
So even if Hunter is in Uganda

361
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:35,400
on a Sunday afternoon, she can
think about, she has the values,

362
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:40,160
she's already embodying the the
Neufeld spirit without

363
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,840
necessarily and she's bringing
it to others and she's

364
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,560
contributing and creating
meaning and purpose in her life

365
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,000
that we've we've set her on that
trajectory.

366
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:55,120
We've set each of our children
on that trajectory, but that we

367
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,640
have less and less involvement
as they grow.

368
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:03,760
Yeah.
You know, as they grow and as we

369
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,560
have less involvement, a lot of
the family culture building,

370
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,400
it's not just for them to carry
on.

371
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:16,240
I think it's for us to have our
own identity away from them when

372
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,800
they have when as they start to
individuate, right.

373
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,760
If you and I are leaders of a
team, we can reflect on the team

374
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,960
that we built.
We can build other teams, right?

375
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,640
We can do other things in the
world and apply, bring that same

376
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,840
enthusiasm of culture building
to whatever we do.

377
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,800
Yes, absolutely.
But if we are stuck in this idea

378
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,080
that our children are what we're
living for and that we're

379
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,840
climbing 1 mountain together and
that mountain is for us to all

380
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,720
be holding hands till the very
last day, that's just it's a

381
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,520
fairy tale.
It's a dangerous place.

382
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,560
It it, it, it's a dangerous
place.

383
00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,240
And so Hunter, we were talking
about this yesterday and Hunter

384
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,200
was sitting with us.
She was sitting on my lap,

385
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,800
right?
And she's like, but not right

386
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,120
now, right?
And I'm like, no, Hunter, not at

387
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,960
8 years old.
Absolutely.

388
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,680
We are spending plenty of more
time together.

389
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,920
But I, you know, I'll just be
honest and say that I don't

390
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:19,640
necessarily have a mental model
or map of healthy individuation,

391
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:25,920
but that will be, it's a huge
goal of mine with our family is

392
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:32,360
to ensure that our children
climb their own mountains, have

393
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:37,240
their own lives and know that we
are always here to support them.

394
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:45,400
But know that this family isn't
what's going to bring purpose

395
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:50,760
and meaning to their life.
It's building upon what we've

396
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:54,160
created here and them
contributing to the world.

397
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,600
Each of us contributing to the
world that is really going to

398
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:03,760
create feelings of success for
them personally.

399
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:10,120
Yeah, it also helps for me
especially to take action now to

400
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:15,240
when we come up with ideas like
this podcast or like, you know,

401
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,080
a lemonade stand on the corner,
whatever it is to actually do

402
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:19,880
it.
Yeah.

403
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,120
Instead of instead of thinking
about, oh, we'll do it someday,

404
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,040
why not today?
Yeah, And that's probably the

405
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,880
call to action, right, is if we
have one take away for you, it's

406
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,720
that in these past six months,
just doing it has really made a

407
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,600
huge difference for us.
Is that because we have the most

408
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,280
important thing, we started
family meetings because we have

409
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,760
the most important thing, we got
firmer on boundaries.

410
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,640
Because we have the most
important thing, we went on a

411
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,120
family adventure, not just
vacation this year.

412
00:24:54,160 --> 00:25:01,200
And so this, this exploration
has been incredibly beneficial

413
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,200
to us individually, to us as
partners and to our whole

414
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,520
family.
Absolutely.

415
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,360
And I don't think that you need
to start your own podcast in

416
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,520
order to do these things.
I just think that I've seen the

417
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,160
inspiration that I get from
others putting out things like

418
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,440
the Founders podcast, as you
mentioned, David Senra, and how

419
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,680
I bring ideas from others into
my world and get inspired by

420
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,240
that.
You know, I, I hope that we can

421
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:31,040
deliver 10% of that inspiration
to other people.

422
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,200
And as we're building this
podcast and doing these things,

423
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,640
if you can take 10% of the
experiments and just try them,

424
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,720
you're going to find that the
present moment is the reward.

425
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240
Absolutely.
So thank you so much for

426
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,840
journeying with us.
Six months down, 60 years to go.

427
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,480
That's right.
That's exactly right.

428
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,480
I wanted to mention one more
thing because perhaps some of

429
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,560
you listening were hoping to get
the nitty gritty ideas of what

430
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:03,080
has been the most meaningful.
And I think Greg and I can agree

431
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:07,160
that the book The Secrets of
Happy Families by Bruce Feiler

432
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,160
said it best when he said really
it boils down to three things.

433
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,280
So if you're looking for a what
these are the three what's

434
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:21,720
adapt, talk a lot, have fun
together, I think that says it

435
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,600
all.
There are plenty of different

436
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,800
experiments we can run, but they
all fit into that core model.

437
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,880
So thanks, Bruce Feiler, and
we're going to continue on this

438
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,600
exploration with these takeaways
as our North Star.

439
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,880
We sure are.
I, as you, as you say that I'm

440
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,600
realizing that we have a lot
more group conversations now

441
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,040
than we used to and that might
be something about talk a lot.

442
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,800
Yeah, for sure.
So the group conversations have

443
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:52,080
really turned into a very, I
mean, this is the the ritual,

444
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,120
right?
Our Friday evening ritual, our

445
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,880
family meeting, you know, our
family play our like all of

446
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,040
these things we're doing as a
group.

447
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,000
Yes.
And we're talking as a group

448
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,640
about even if it's just about
the week, like we didn't have

449
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,720
those containers before.
So thank you, Bruce.

450
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:09,920
I agree.
Yeah.

451
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,720
And thank you all for listening.
Thanks for being with us on this

452
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:14,400
journey.
Yeah.

453
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,200
And thanks to Zip Recruiter, our
sponsor.

454
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,840
Love you, goosey love.
You goosey.

455
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,200
Hey guys, if you're still here,
you're definitely our kind of

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00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,360
person.
Thanks for spending this time

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00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,000
with us on The Most Important
Thing.

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00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,920
If this episode resonated with
you, we'd love for you to follow

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00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,280
us wherever you get your
podcasts and share it with

460
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,040
someone else.
Building family culture on

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00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:35,600
purpose.